There are always two sides to every story – even gormless, neverending stories about Hulk Hogan and his wife.
It’s true. Like, for instance, when Hulk Hogan recently said that he sympathises with wife-murderers because of how his estranged wife Linda Hogan is behaving, it was inevitable that Linda Hogan would put her side across. So therefore she’s claimed that their marriage failed because of Hulk Hogan’s constant marital indiscretions.
So just to reiterate, there are always two sides to every story. In this case those two sides are 1) Hulk Hogan is a twat and 2) Linda Hogan is a twat. There.
Nobody should have been surprised when Hulk Hogan declared that he sympathised with OJ Simpson – on the off-chance that OJ Simpson killed his wife – because of how much he hates his estranged wife Linda. After all, this is a man who has made a living from violence all his life. Well, pretend violence, anyway. Pretend violence and mock-deafness. And TV movies called Shadow Warriors II: Hunt for the Death Merchant. But mainly violence.
And we were certain that Linda Hogan wouldn’t have taken Hulk Hogan’s comments seriously. There’s absolutely no chance that Hulk Hogan would kill Linda Hogan – partly because he knows how much it’d jeopardise everything he’s worked for and partly because, judging by Linda Hogan’s leathery old neck skin, it’d take three solid days of hacking away at her with the world’s sharpest machete to even come close to denting, let alone slitting, her throat.
But still, the threat of being chopped to pieces by a bald orange man with sausagey arms is the perfect ammunition for Linda Hogan to fire back a shrieking, hysterical retaliatory statement about what an utter bellend Hulk Hogan is. So guess what she’s done. Go on, guess. MSNBC reports:
?Hulk?s serial cheating destroyed our marriage, our family and our future. Sadly, his recent comments remind us that his definition of fair is much different than what the law dictates,? Linda Hogan said in a statement released to Access Hollywood. Linda?s rep told Access, ?Linda and her family are taking these recent homicidal comments seriously. Linda?s attorney Ray Rafool is weighing all options necessary to protect his client.?
As tiresome as this obviously is – especially since the Hulk Hogan/Linda Hogan divorce now seems to be into its 15th straight year – you can see why Linda Hogan has done this. Painting Hulk Hogan as a potential murderer by his own admission is bound to get her all kinds of leverage in the settlement negotiations. It might be cheap and massively distasteful, but she saw the opportunity and she took it.
And if we were Hulk Hogan we’d be bracing ourselves for more like this. For instance, ahead of the 1992 Royal Rumble we distinctly remember seeing Hulk Hogan look straight into the camera and rhetorically ask “Whatcha gonna do when Hulkamania runs wild on you?” At the time we took it as a direct personal threat to our safety, and we’ve been living in fear ever since. Expect a call from our lawyers any day now, Hogan.
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magnetite says
Is it too much to hope that Ray Rafool’s middle name is Ulysses or Uriah?
“I’m sorry sir, I can’t cash this cheque. Well, it’s a joke name, isn’t it? Oh, I’m terribly sorry Mr. Rafool. The meal is on us.”
Raven says
look as the average citizen who has nothing but a low income … i undestand him saying something he has no intention of acting on…. give me abreak the b*tch is acting like a 2 bit slut and this punk (figures a clearwater leech) is living off what this man built for his family… bet he wouldnt be where she is without him… to me I feel Hulk Hogan(and I am in NO WAY a wrestling fan in any way) but my lord this man has done everything for his family… if his children is tolerating this whore like action from thier mother if I were him I would think again as a parent about helping them too….
You know he just may have tried to put an analogy as to the pain he is feeling…
To Hulk if this gets in some way to you…
we know you were speaking as a man who just wants his family and I am sure would be willing to work out something is it wasnt a child!!!!!!!
aaaand to his ex… GROW UP you look like a gold digging whore to many (as you are… make your own money and be a real woman and stand on your own 2 feet…) no not all but believe me many… let your boy toy buy his own car and go stay at his place and move there…
and as for the statement about OJ he was just putting a vision to how he must have felt, he stated from the start he would never act on this but dont mean he dont understand the feeling…2 different things… ok so he spoke wrong…. let you have the same happen to you….
Raven says
does any one know how this childs mother feels about the slut corrupting her child as to morals… this is unbelievable… i feel this gold digging whore may be entitled to some sort of split but you know what…. how much did you do to get where you are or what you have… have more pride then being a trophy… be with a MAN not baby who is younger then the children you have…. your sick… borderline pedophile to me…. just my opinion…
Raven says
hahahaha bet she is doing the lawyer too…
she has alwaaaaaaays been known as a whore in clearwater… and she didnt care about his “supposed” serial cheating… hmmmm works both ways…
she didnt mind that “cheating” when it bought her gifts, house, SUV, and all the other things… what just time to cash in before the plastic surgery wears off and no one but a baby will look at you… MILF… our trash, and HOgan should have left you long ago…
supercars says
one things for sure they sure have one crazy family, because its hard to believe in just one side but both… whatever they say they’re both crazy
Scott says
Mysogynist
noun – Raven
labelle31 says
This just proves: Does anyone give a tiny rat’s ass about these people? The whole family are twats, and what a role model for young wrestling fans Hogan is, huh? Linda had plastic surgery?? Perhaps anyone considering having plastic surgery their self should get the name of her doctor, and make sure they cross HIS name off their list! Hope nothing ever happens to Linda, or Hogan may find himself occupying the same cell his son once did!