If you’re a young teenage boy who no longer thinks girls are icky and disgusting, chances are you’ll want to see one naked.

Accidentally seeing your mum with her saggy tits hanging out when you’ve seen her in the bathroom by mistake doesn’t count. So where do you go from here?

For the braver lad, the internet is a haven for seeing all sorts of ladies prancing around with no clothes on and doing strange things with penis-shaped objects. But seeing a random pair of boobies can get boring after a while. Why can’t famous people get their wobbly bits out? Well fear not everyone, Lily Allen wants to do just that.

You’d think with a bold statement like that, most tabloid newspapers and Nuts magazine would be offering her silly amounts of money. After all, one publication thought it would actually sell more copies by featuring Kerry Katona in supposed sexy poses. Like everything else however, there is one golden rule that Lily wants the photographers, magazine editors and perverts of the world to follow.

Because she’s a girl of some standards and won’t flash her lady bits at the first person to offer £20, any photo shoot would have to be done tastefully. Erm, whilst we’ve sadly never had the opportunity to display our bits to the world, we can’t quite make out the difference between a tasteful and untasteful shoot.

In our eyes, a seedy Mexican photographer would turn up, ask us to take off our clothes and then command us to do star jumps and cartwheels against a backdrop of Westminster Abbey. As long as we’re fed, watered and told that we’ve made the camera orgasm then it’s a good day’s work. Who knows, Playgirl magazine may sell record copies of their bongo magazine.

Perhaps Lily Allen doesn’t see things the same way as us. Maybe she wouldn’t settle for anything less than a plush velvet lined room where border collies fetch in biscuits and diet cokes which are tied to their backs. Or she’ll use a photographer/magazine that’ll pay her for peeling off her clothes.

So what has made Lily want to potentially show us her lady lips and nipples? Is it because there are new records to promote? Of course not, you cynical bastard! She just feels better about herself and wants to show pervy men and overweight women across the world her new trim figure. When travelling around the world on tour, it looks like Lily dined on kebabs and pizza rather than eating healthy stuff like um, celery and raisins.

“I was eating a lot of unhealthy food because it’s difficult to source fresh food when you’re on the road. When I came off the road and was living at home, I was making myself dinner and I’ve never been healthier.”

Ace! What a better way of showing off your new found better then getting stark bollock naked. Because we feel healthy and fit after playing Guitar Hero for twenty hours a day, we’d like to do a co-naked shoot with you.

We’ll hide our modesty behind a carefully placed laptop and you Lily can decorate yourself in your latest album sleeve. Everyone wins! Apart from those who value their eyesight.

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