Due to the rapidly expanding world we live in, there are occasions when we have to get our heads round so called ?exciting? terms that are cooked up by balding PR men in their fifties. we're all enduring the stranglehold of social media which is basically a tool for people to show off an impressive number of virtual friends who they rarely ever speak to in the real world.
Now we're plagued by flash mobs. These are surprise events that are created by hilarious individuals who think it's amusing to perform stupid activities whilst you go around your day to day business.
Doing star jumps on a busy train during the home commute? LOL! That won't irritate anyone to the point of violence! As you\’ll probably agree, dances and other strange acts are rapidly approaching a saturation point of dire inanity. How about spicing things up by causing an organised panic? On paper it seems like a good idea, but in true British tradition, it turns into a shambles.
Thanks to the Freedom of Information Act, people can access pointless pieces of information. Such as how many bricks make up their house and what uses you can get out of bellybutton fluff. However, it stops short of explaining how Lee Ryan continues to get work. One horror fan in Leicester called James Dixon decided to ask his local council the following:
?Can you please let us know what provisions you have in place in the event of a zombie invasion? Having watched several films it is clear that preparation for such an event is poor and one that councils throughout the kingdom must prepare for. Please provide any information you may have.?
Instead of printing out the email in order to screw it up and throw it in the bin, information governor (that’s a thing, apparently) Lynn Wyeth responded by saying:
?We've had a few wacky ones before but this one did make us laugh. To you it might seem frivolous and a waste of time. But to different people it actually means something, everybody has their own interests and their own reasons for asking these questions.?
But after a response was gain, James Dixon realised that no measures were in place against any sort of zombie attack. Could this be down to budget cuts by the government? Or was it a more logical reason, being that just like the tooth fairy, werewolves and polite Scousers, there are no such things as zombies? Realising that terror and suffering could be inflicted on a city more famous for its crisp production than it is for being the epicentre of a zombie apocalypse, a pesky flashmob was organised to show Leicester officials what could happen if a load of corpses ever rose from their eternal slumber and all marched on a McDonalds. 150-250 people took part in a “zombie march” which was about as terrifying as a loaf of bread slowly going mouldy. Prepare to skid yourself:
Suffice to say, the makeup and clothing by some participants didn't do much to make council officials drop any proposed budget for a new orphanage and invest in zombie blasting guns. We assume that people taking part experienced that emotion we've heard of called ?fun?, so fair play to them. If they?d attempted the stunt in yankee doodle America land, the local police would have tasered anyone taking part until a hot and smoky BBQ smell emitted from the zombies.
Let's be honest though, if they?d all broken in to an appalling rendition of Michael Jackson?s Thriller, we?d hate this a lot more.