we're glad that our favourite ever boy band member has got some work on the go. After all, we wouldn't like to see him tour the countries social clubs in a clapped out Clio doing his own solo gigs. Just imagine it, for the pricey sum of ?50, a couple of pints and a bag of salted nuts you could have Lee Ryan perform all of his erm??hits?.
During the recession, it hasn't been clear what the various members of Blue have been doing. Some say they had to take up summer jobs as cinema ushers or dog walkers. Lee Ryan has been off the radar but now it looks like he's back to reclaim his tile of ?biggest twonk in music? with some new tunes. But don't scoff at the thought of him releasing another album full of shit ballads. Oh yes, get ready to raise the roof for an album of dance music that will delight anyone who shops in poundland.
Over the years, Lee Ryan has brought us nothing but constant amusement. Whilst we could easily call his songs an insult to anyone who calls themselves a fan of music, we won't. After all, we have to give credit where it's due and admit that we couldn't reach those ridiculous high screechy notes. Not after being kicked in the nuts.
Perhaps our favourite TV reality chef failure is looking to broaden his market. After all, the songs he was penning were usually about love, courgettes, landfills and gramophones were usually aimed at teenage girls with heads the size of peanuts. Now it seems he wants to reach out to a new audience and prove he is a mature artist and not someone who beats up taxi drivers for no apparent reason.
?I grew up in Blue, but I became an adult when I left. I’ve exorcised some demons and hope people understand me better after listening.?
Christ, that's a bold statement if ever we heard one. Put some dramatic music underneath him saying it, run a backdrop of two armies charging down a hill to commence in battle and you'd have a box office film that would break even at best. Then remember its Lee Ryan we're talking about. But would his new musical direction sound like?
With dubstep firmly on the rise, maybe we?ll see Lee take his musical to a slow dirty sounding edge. One of the most annoying forms of dance music to actually dance to, he could jump on the bandwagon and maybe get the recognition he deserves by getting 4.7 seconds of a track used on Skins.
Because we're so kind and want to offer a bridge of support to our mate Lee Ryan, we know how he can drum up publicity to get people interested in his music. After all, he did that spectacularly with his spiel about elephants being more important than the victims of the terrible 9/11 tragedy in New York. With Lee not fearing controversy in the slightest, here are some current topics he could capitalise on and use:
1) Sprucing up terrorists wardrobes and reducing their drab and bleak look. Why not add some colour to the wardrobe of burkas and head scarves. Plain black is so last season.
2) Penning the official anthem for the Conservative party.
3) Claiming that a priest did more than just take him for choir practice.
Don't say we're not helpful.
Follow hecklerspray on Twitter
Jeannine says
You are an complete idiot. Do you even know this person?
It is so annoying when people like you slate people just from what they have read in the papers or heard in the media.
When you actually get your arse into gear, write something decent instead of slagging off people.
Ziggy Stardump says
Jeannine: Missing the point since 2010