You know what the Jackson family are kinda like? Performing dolphins that entertain crowds of clapping idiots who pay money to see overgrown fish jump through burning hoops. Trainers of dolphins usually use the Joe Jackson guidance method which generally involves beating the creature until it does what you want it to do.
Michael Jackson suffered the most under his father. Perhaps he never received tasty morsels of salmon as a reward for mastering the moonwalk correctly.
The rest of the family also had to endure daddy Joe’s teachings, though we often wonder about Latoya Jackson. We genuinely don't know what she has done to warrant any sort of successful career. Does that riot count when she promised to take her clothes off for money, but then bottled it? Who knows? However we are aware that she is bringing out a book containing her theory on her successful brother?s death. This?ll go down well at the local reading club we imagine.
We we're going to write a whole load of jokes about Latoya possibly having to live in the shadows of sibling Janet Jackson all her life. But then we realised that Janet is as equally an inferior Jackson family member which must have left her father fuming. Two failures in one clan? Well he could always rely on Tito, Jermaine, Marlon and Randy.
Oh.
That means we still have to focus on Michael Jackson, who’s death has turned in to a never ending game of Cluedo. Was it the King of Pop with the prescription painkillers in the kitchen? Or perhaps it was Dr. Conrad Murray with the syringe in the hall? It seems that Latoya is pointing her finger at Murray who seems destined never to get a trial at court due to it constantly being pushed back. Anyways, she said:
?Dr. Murray was the fall guy. Authorities should look into this more deeply. I believe it was a conspiracy. Michael told me repeatedly, ?They?re going to murder me. You don't understand. They?re trying to murder me.? He?d tell me this again and again.?
Hold on. Have we unearthed some sort of potential breaking news? Did Michael Jackson tell his sister that his doctor was going to kill him? Or is he saying that there was a whole bunch of people out to ensure he joined the deceased early?
Despite everyone in the hecklerspray bedsit initially thinking that we’d done it, we then leapt from our urine stained couch in excitement! Conspiracies are ace! Then we realised that these claims couldn't possibly be true. Still, at least MJ had a lot of music in his house.
?He had the world's largest music catalogue ? 750,000 songs. People knew how important it was.?
Ah! Clearly Michael was an illegal downloader, so maybe it was the music police who killed him!
Or could this be ?the revenge of any Jesus Juice drinking children?? Whilst that could be the title of a brilliantly rubbish b-movie, we assume the children he allegedly touched (but legally didn't thanks to a judge) came back and haunted him whilst he slept.
Suffice to say, when the actual trial for Dr. Conrad Murray starts, it'll dispel any crackpot conspiracy theories just like the ones his sister has written. No doubt we?ll be live blogging the trial under the following title:
Dr Conrad Murray: Injecting the truth in to our hearts. Or, Michael Jackson: Moonwalking For Justice.
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Pat says
Latoya is at it again. People the truth is still be held from you. There is a John Lennon love child daughter who had her inheritance hidden from her on the Beatle catalogue. Latoya is saying that Jacko refused to give back the catalogue because then he would have to give the unkown daughter her inheritance that would then bring her out to the public and he would be proving his guilt of hiding the money John left for this daughter. Latoya knows time is almost up and she is getting ready for this bombshell to drop before she reveals the names of the people that she believed killed Michael like the Beatle camp of people.
I see says
I see that batshit Latoya isn’t the only nutter bounding about like a crazed shithouse rat. Wtf!
nancy McClenney says
I try to keep up with things that happen with Michael.being on face book has helped.Iwished things didn’t happen.Michael is a better place .God bless you