Somewhere, George Michael's probably sitting under a sex-bush eagerly rubbing his hands together in hopeful anticipation.

Former NSyncer and almost-cosmonaut Lance Bass has taken that giant step out of the closet. Lance Bass has announced in a People magazine interview that he prefers the fairer sex, but only if you think the fairer sex has two balls and a schlonger – that's right, Lance Bass is gay and he's tired of hiding it. Not that that's a surprise to any man who was 15 to 45 in the mid-to-late nineties.

Those guys suspected it all along.

Lance Bass of the boy band juggernaut NSync just put a whole new spin on his first name by declaring his previously hidden gay-dom to all the world. Bass says of the coming-out process: 

"The thing is, I'm not ashamed – that's the one thing I want to say, I don't think it's wrong, I'm not devastated going through this. I'm more liberated and happy than I've been my whole life."

Too bad the legions of disappointed girls still waiting to get their chests signed don't feel the same way. Truth be told they should have seen this whole Lance Bass gay thing coming. Think about it – all that singing, all that dancing, all that drinking green tea with his legs crossed and his pinky fully extended while casually flipping through the lifestyle section of USA Today… we mean c'mon ladies!  

Lance Bass claims that he didn't keep being gay hidden out of shame, but out of respect for his bandmates' homophobia.  Well, technically he never said they were homophobic, but he did say that out of the four of them – Joey Fatone - is the one that looked best imaginary naked. No, Lance Bass never said that either, but what he really did say was: 

"I knew that I was in this popular band and I had four other guys' careers in my hand and I knew that if I ever acted on it or even said (that I was gay), it would overpower everything. I didn't know. Could that be the end of 'N Sync? So I had that weight on me of like. Wow, if I ever let anyone know, it's bad. So I just never did."

If you're wondering why Lance Bass chose now for full gay disclosure, he let us know that too:

"The main reason I wanted to speak my mind was that (the rumours) really were starting to affect my daily life. Now it feels like it's on my terms. I'm at peace with my family, my friends, myself and God so there's really nothing else that I worry about."

Lance Bass goes gay and suddenly hecklerspray unloads with the gay-jokes. We know what you're thinking, but it's not like that. We support Bass and we stand behind him (but not like that), and we love him (but not like that). In fact, out of all celebrities with slightly diminished bowel control – it's Bass we admire most. We would never sully his good name.

But if he ever slaps on high heels and lip gloss – it's on! Our Semi-Retarded Uncle Charlie has a poorly written pamphlet that says in such a case we'd have an obligation.  

Read more:

Lance Bass: I'm Gay – People

[story by Shawn Lindseth]