Why the hell is Lana Del Ray famous anymore? Bitch’s name sounds like it should be a 3rd rate catering hall on the water, and she is about as talented as one of those wedding singers you find on Craigslist, with the personality of a vegetable to boot.
Even more confusing is the fact that she seems to absolutely hate the fame. According to a new interview, she doesn’t even want people to pay any attention to her music or her anymore. Wish granted.
Rolling Stone was either desperate for anyone to be in their magazine this month, or someone lost a major bet, because for some reason they had Lana Del Ray on their cover. And in her usual foot in mouth style, the entire interview with her is chockfull of asshattery and stupid.
For example, did you know that even though Lana considers herself a musician, and selling records is what pays her bills, she apparently doesn’t want any of us to listen to her music?
“I just don’t want them to hear it at all. I’m very selfish. I make everything for me, kind of. I mean, every little thing, down to the guitar and the drums. It’s just for me… I don’t want them to hear it and think about it. It’s none of their business!”
Listen bitch, you don’t need to fight me. If I never have to hear that Summertime Sadness whining on the radio anymore, I’d be very happy. I can’t tell you how many times it takes hitting the thumbs down button on Pandora for that shit to understand that I don’t want to listen to any of this crap.
Lana also wants us all to know that while she may say some bat shit crazy stuff, and may get a little 5150 looking, she is not actually a nutjob.
“Well, I feel fucking crazy. But I don’t think I am. People make me feel crazy. I find that most people I meet figure I kind of want to kill myself anyway. So, it comes up every time.”
Well, maybe if Lana didn’t give off the aura of a 14 year old faux emo girl with too much eyeliner and whose bedroom walls are covered in black and cheesy quotes about heartbreak, then most people wouldn’t think that.
And incase the whole self deprecating shtick that Ray is throwing out there hasn’t been apparent enough, Lana even tried to “quit this bitch” mid interview because she’s just so not worthy.
“I’m not sure if they should run this story… I feel like maybe we should wait until there’s something good to talk about. You know? I just wish you could write about something else. There has to be someone else to be the cover story. Like, there has to be. Anybody.”
On this, I 10000% percent agree with Lana. I see Sam Smith’s name on the cover there. They easily could have put that beautiful squishy man with the voice of an angel on the cover, and I would have bought every glittery copy.
Or shit, even Kanye. I hate Kanye, but I’d rather listen to him rant about leather pants and glass ceilings than listen to Lana Del Ray whine.