If Lady Gaga walked into your front room, smashed up all your possessions and then pissed on the floor, nobody would be shocked. After all, she is an ?artist? and more than just a musician.
It wouldn't be the destruction of your property, billed more as ?destroying the capitalist Zen that has eaten away at the homes natural beauties letting you flourish your inner karma.?
Of course this is pretentious gubbins and if someone destroyed our stuff, we?d be baying for blood. Especially as it is Christmas and we need to badly wrap our presents which we haven’t bought yet.
However, this year?s Christmas might not be happening as Lady Gaga has destroyed the main man behind Christmas. Not fictional creation Jesus, but the man who delivers us presents, Santa Claus!
You?ll probably all be wondering how Lady Gaga achieved such a feat, after-all, she'd have to venture all the way to the North Pole, fight against his army of reindeer and the midgets who make all of our toys. Perhaps she wanted to extract some of his blubber so she can be warm all year round or perhaps a festive woolly coat was in order, made from the beard of Santa Claus himself?
Whilst we?d love all of this to be true, this is just our imaginations going a little bit crazy after overdoing it on the old sugary drinks. It all happened at a recent gig at the O2 arena in London.
Playing what seems another UK date on her never ending Monster Ball tour, a fan threw a stuffed effigy of Santa on stage. Whatever the intention, Lady Gaga picked up the item and used it to start a weird rambling about being lonely at Christmas.
Choice comments from the above two minute clip of randomness included ?he was pregnant with chemicals not meant for children? before throwing the remains into the audience. To be fair to Gaga, we fill Santa full of chemicals every year when we leave the fat bloke a glass of sherry out. And a tray full of Es.
Even for Lady Gaga, this latest stunt seems a little weird. Not that she's losing her touch or anything, but it just seems a little desperate. Like a child who can only get their parents attention by threatening to crap themselves. Though the audience still love her, with one gig goer saying:
?If you didn’t like the Santa thing then don’t bother going to a Gaga gig in the first place – it’s the kind of thing you should expect.?
We don't even know what the above quote is supposed to mean. Does Lady Gaga also chomp the head of off something at a gig? Is that why there are no unicorns left? Is Gaga going to cook everything she beheads into the most exotic risotto ever created? Frankly we're disgusted and feel like writing to our local MP.
Who is she going to destroy next on stage? The tooth fairy? Spiderman? JESUS CHRIST?!
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Renee says
What a stupid article, Matt. The fact that you constantly insist in writing that Jesus Christ is fictional and a fairytale, doesn’t make Him go away. Hope you don’t ignore Him too long. Merry CHRISTmas
Bobby Smith Jones says
oh please…. why dont you go back and liver under your conservative rock where you belong.
It is a bit of fun…
Madonna and Ozzy Osborn did far worse on stage.
Why dont you remove your annorack and get out a bit more
Amanda Baran says
Really? It is Gaga. Ozzy bit the head off a live bat for crying out loud, and people still like him! This is what Gaga is. Be happy with it. This article is horrible. Merry freaking Christmas to you
Dayse says