As I’m sure you all know, the youngest spawn of Kris Jenner’s empire of evil, Kylie Jenner, has been expanding her brand as much as possible lately. Aside from her pop-up shops that sell t-shirts with sexy pics of her on them, and clothing that for some reason has THICK!!! written all over them (does Kylie legit think she’s thick?! lol, girl bye), she’s been expanding upon her make-up line as well.
Kylie recently released a line up blushes that didn’t have a clever name like Kyliner or Kylighter, but were just, you know, Blushes. While she didn’t incorporate her name into their title making them sound tacky af, she’s still raising some eyebrows about what she actually chose to call each of the shades of blush.
For years I’ve been saying that Kylie Jenner is living this bizarre life with apparently zero parental supervision and was destined to be the next Kim Kardashian (I said that in 2013, and I didn’t even know how bad it would get). I mean, when Kylie was 17, and therefore underage, her mom was totally chill will her stealing Kim’s bestie Blac Chyna’s 25-year-old baby daddy.
I’m 9 years older than my youngest sister and if at 17 Ashley tried to snatch one of my friend’s fiancés/baby dads, my mom would’ve grounded the shit out of her. And I would’ve flipped out, BECAUSE THAT IS SO MESSED UP.
But like, Kris Jenner and the rest of the crew were like ‘Nah, this is totally normal, we’ll even rent you and your Hollywood Hobo, mid-20s, HAS A GODDAMN CHILD, boyfriend a nice place to stay at Coachella so he has a private place to get my underage daughter drunk and bang her. I’M SUCH A GOOD MOM.’
This mini rant leads me to the names of Kylie Jenner’s new blushes:
People think it’s tacky af that 19-year-old Kylie Jenner, who has had a pretty scandalous love life, THAT NO ONE IN HER FAMILY SEEMS BOTHERED BY, would use names like Barely Legal and Virginity for her blushes.
I can’t say I’m surprised, though. Remember back was Tyga was still trying to rap and he released that video for a song called ‘Stimulated’ about Kylie with Kylie in the video and he rapped ‘They said she was too young, and that I shoulda waited. She’s a big girl, dog, when she stimulated.’
He is LITERALLY rapping about fucking girls in high school, though he is a grown man with a child, AND YET STILL KRIS JENNER IS COOL WITH THIS RELATIONSHIP.
And yet none of this still bothers me as much as this:
(Just so you know, this is the back of the t-shirt, the front says THICK…I guess this is how Kylie sees herself?):
SHAKE MY DAMN HEAD! Pre-boob job, I’ve always considered myself in the same body type group as Kylie Jenner: LEAN. But apparently if I use just enough photoshop and maybe stuff my bra, I too could call myself thick.
Girl….no. Just no. I can’t. Please stop now.