Before I had my son, I took a lot of selfies. Like…a lot. I was kind of known for it. Like many women (and many dudes, too, I suspect), I’d take anywhere from 20-40 selfies that were borderline identical, pick my favorite one, throw a filter on it, and post it to Instagram. I posted about 3-4 selfies a week so, in total, I’d say I was taking about 120 selfies a week, which I think is pretty excessive.
But then, there’s Kim Kardashian. A woman who makes every over the top thing I do actually seem tame as fuck. Recently, Kim went on a 4-day Mexican vacation with her kids and a couple of girlfriends. Aside from showing off her ridiculous fake ass (I’m sorry, Kim. I can’t pretend it’s real anymore), homegirl took SIX THOUSAND selfies, which is about 1500 a day.
While social media showed lots of pics of Kim out in thong bikinis or see through crop tops on vacation, Kim just revealed that while she was on her luxurious vacation, she actually caught no rays and did very little fun in the sun type shit that normal people do on vacation.
Kim revealed on sister Kendall’s app that during her 4 days in Mexico all she really did was have photoshoots and take selfies. 6000 selfies! WHAT KIND OF DATA PLAN DOES SHE HAVE?! I honestly don’t even mean that as a joke because, like, I have like 5 apps and my phone still says there is no available data after I have like, maybe 5-600 pics? So my phone can’t even handle a thousand pictures, and this bitch is taking 1500 selfies a day with no issues?! HOW IS THAT FAIR?!
Also, not related to her selfies, but can we please talk about Kim Kardashians ass while she was on this Mexican vacation, because this was really the straw that broke the camels back for me. While Khloe and Kylie have such painfully obvious Brazilian butt lifts that I honestly can’t even look at them anymore, Kim’s ass has officially entered borderline foolish territory as well, as she clearly put on display while on vacation.
Girl, your surgeon must not know a damn thing about ass to thigh ratio, because you have the lean, short body of a Britney Spears, but the ass of a fit af Serena Williams. No one natural has a J. Lo booty with Taylor Swift thighs, that just isn’t a thing. Let’s look as the ass to thigh ratio in some natural fit, big booty women, shall we?
Here we have Serena Williams: big toned booty, big toned thighs, because if you’re putting in the work to get a booty that big, round, and toned, you’re also putting in the work to get those thighs big and toned.
Jennifer Lopez: thick toned booty, thick toned thighs. Oh, and here’s another picture of J. Lo looking fine af because HOW is this money 46?!
The moral of the story is that I can’t stand by your ‘My ass if real, I’ve always had curves’ story anymore Kimberly. Yes, you’ve always had curves and you DID have a pretty big butt naturally, but now you’ve made yourself look like a fucking cartoon character. I mean, if that’s the look you’re going for and you like it, then you do you, girl, but stop saying that shit is real because pretending a 100% unattainable look is totally natural is just sad for the girls who for some reason look up to you.
As for your 6000 selfies, I get the need and desire to take selfies, but a) your data plan is making me jealous af, and b) how about enjoying your damn vacations instead of spending the whole time taking selfies. I mean, why not get shit faced on the beach and try to pick up a jellyfish or something like the rest of us peasants. Live yo life, girl!
Woww says
And still did not get one good photo.