Yes people, the legal battle of the century is indeed underway. In the red corner sits wheezing fat Essex toss-fuck Kerry Katona and in the blue corner ex-Westlife ex-fatman ex-husband of aforementioned fat Essex toss-fuck, Brian thingy.
Look, listen, Bri wants his fucking kids back, OK? And he’s prepared to go to any lengths necessary to get them, even if it means stating the fucking obvious to the British press. From the Daily Mail :
“Kerry is a disgusting human being. She manipulates people and plays the sympathy card for every stupid mistake she makes. Me and my family have been put through hell by her stupid games. She uses my two girls as a weapon in her childish games. She is an embarrassment to me, my family and my children.”
Way to go Brian! But you forgot to inject, “idiot,” “fat moron fuck,” and, “smokes and drinks and possibly takes cocaine whilst pregnant” as many times as possible into your sentences. These are very important. Remember to tell your lawyer, OK? And say hi to Delta Goodrem from us while you’re at it. We would leave Katona for that bitch too. Actually, no, that would require us to get with her in the first place and we would never do something that utterly moronic due to having a reasonable level of intellect. Look into getting one of them, they’re really quite helpful.
Good thing you live in Australia Brian or else Kerry’s new husband, Mark Croft would be all over you with a hammer and some dogs right about now. Due to all the publicity you’re garnering for his client Max Clifford would also be sucking the shit out of your cock. Perhaps a sneaky finger up the bumhole too. In between the radiotherapy sessions of course. Don’t be so fucking sick, Brian. Jesus.
But, listen up again, yeah? Kerry isn’t prepared to just sit on her fat anus and eat twenty menthol fags whilst breathing crack into the faces of her children. NO! Katona has only gone and retorted, hasn’t she. Well, sort of. Her mate Sophie told Heat magazine this mouth balls:
“Kerry is not scares, she’s upset and disappointed because Brian seems to making a habit of attacking her and it is all one-way traffic. The only way that Brian seems to be able to attract any sort of media interest or publicity is by attacking Kerry.”
Kerry is not scares. Seriously, that bitch is not scares one bit.
We hope you get them kids, Bri. Remain unscares. Although, remember your ‘definitely not addicted to drugs for legal reasons’ ex wife did win Mother of the Year. Twice. That’s two times. Kerry Katona. Mother of the Year. Twice.
The world is a sad and dark place.
Read more:
Kerry Katona and Brian McFadden’s custody war rages on in ‘showbiz’s bloodiest battle’ – Daily Mail
Stabby McGee says
Mother of the year from whom? Was she in the running against rabid cannibals and succubi or something?
Mithaearon says
She was up against:
Britney Spears
Karen Matthews (Shannon Matthews’s mother)
and
Pete Doherty
euclid says
and Milton from Office Space