Over the years, I have launched numerous investigations into the Kardashian family. I have investigated the transformation and paternity of Khloe Kardashian, the transformation and business genius of Kim Kardashian, and I am still investigating the on-going mystery that is Kylie Jenner 2.0.
However, I’ve never gone into deep investigation over anything with Kourtney Kardashian and Kendall Jenner because, honestly, they’ve never really given me shit to look into, which is maybe why they’re my favorites of the five sisters. However, it has come to my attention that it is time for me to launch my first investigate into Kendall Jenner. Or at least into her parentage.
Since the Kardashians became famous back in 2007, tabloids and fans alike have argued that Khloe is not an actual Kardashian. Everyone (including myself) believes that notorious triflin’ hoe Kris Jenner stepped out on Robert Kardashian Sr. (which she has admitted to doing) which is why Kourtney looks almost nothing like Kourtney, Kim, and Rob. I mean, Khloe Kardashian looks about as Armenian as an Olsen twin.
I mean, COME ON:
The two prime candidates for Khloe’s real dad have always been Alex Roldan:
And O.J. Simpson (bitch please, Khloe wishes she was half black):
But while Khloe gets most of the play for being Kris Jenner’s love child and not a biological Kardashian, people tend to talk a little less about Kendall Jenner. UNTIL NOW.
Back in the late-80s, Kris Jenner admittedly cheated on Robert Kardashian with Todd Waterman, a guy she has stayed in contact with over the years, which even caused a rift with Bruce in an earlier season of Keeping Up With the Kardashians.
Here are Kris and Todd:
Now, we all know Kris can’t resist Todd. She cheated on her first husband with him and pissed off her second husband by staying in contact with him and going to lunches. Kris clearly has no problem dropping her panties for Hot Toddy whether she’s married or not, which brings me to my obvious point of this blog: Doesn’t Kendall Jenner look A LOT like Todd Waterman???
I mean, if you didn’t know, if you saw a picture of Kendall Jenner and had to guess who her parents were, would you say it was these two:
or these two:
EXACTLY! However, much like with Khloe’s biological father, and whatever happened to the real Kylie Jenner, we will probably never know the truth about this, but thank god we’ve got assholes like me investigating this shit! I’m on to you, Kris Jenner!!!