Over the years, I have launched numerous investigations into the Kardashian family. I have investigated the transformation and paternity of Khloe Kardashian, the transformation and business genius of Kim Kardashian, and I am still investigating the on-going mystery that is Kylie Jenner 2.0.
However, I’ve never gone into deep investigation over anything with Kourtney Kardashian and Kendall Jenner because, honestly, they’ve never really given me shit to look into, which is maybe why they’re my favorites of the five sisters. However, it has come to my attention that it is time for me to launch my first investigate into Kendall Jenner. Or at least into her parentage.
Since the Kardashians became famous back in 2007, tabloids and fans alike have argued that Khloe is not an actual Kardashian. Everyone (including myself) believes that notorious triflin’ hoe Kris Jenner stepped out on Robert Kardashian Sr. (which she has admitted to doing) which is why Kourtney looks almost nothing like Kourtney, Kim, and Rob. I mean, Khloe Kardashian looks about as Armenian as an Olsen twin.
I mean, COME ON:
The two prime candidates for Khloe’s real dad have always been Alex Roldan:
And O.J. Simpson (bitch please, Khloe wishes she was half black):
But while Khloe gets most of the play for being Kris Jenner’s love child and not a biological Kardashian, people tend to talk a little less about Kendall Jenner. UNTIL NOW.
Back in the late-80s, Kris Jenner admittedly cheated on Robert Kardashian with Todd Waterman, a guy she has stayed in contact with over the years, which even caused a rift with Bruce in an earlier season of Keeping Up With the Kardashians.
Here are Kris and Todd:
Now, we all know Kris can’t resist Todd. She cheated on her first husband with him and pissed off her second husband by staying in contact with him and going to lunches. Kris clearly has no problem dropping her panties for Hot Toddy whether she’s married or not, which brings me to my obvious point of this blog: Doesn’t Kendall Jenner look A LOT like Todd Waterman???
I mean, if you didn’t know, if you saw a picture of Kendall Jenner and had to guess who her parents were, would you say it was these two:
or these two:
EXACTLY! However, much like with Khloe’s biological father, and whatever happened to the real Kylie Jenner, we will probably never know the truth about this, but thank god we’ve got assholes like me investigating this shit! I’m on to you, Kris Jenner!!!
DamFran says
I’ve always thought Kendall looked like Bruce & have been waiting for the news when Kendall turns into Bruce!!! Oh My! Just wait & see.
Jeff says
I don’t get it anymore. How many freaking Kardassians are there?!!? And why do all their names start with a K. What the hell is up with that?!
Todd waterman says
It’s true that I am Kendall’s father. Myself and Kris Jenner have engaged in many extramarital relations with each other throughout the years. I first met Kris when her and Robert were having problems. At first it was very innocent but in time our relationship became more sexual. We confided in each other and I believe, if not for our difference in age, we would have gotten married. She told me many things about her family; how she nearly had a miscarriage in her first pregnancy (Kourtney), and how Khloe’s real father is Alex Roldan. When I first heard this I honestly can’t say I was too shocked. Myself and Kris had been in an affair while she was still married to Robert and I only assumed that I couldn’t have been the first man she cheated on him with. She then met Bruce (Caitlin) and that was, for the time being, the end of our relationship. A few years had passed without direct contact. We saw each other from time to time, only in passing. As I’m sure you could imagine Bruce was not the biggest fan of me. He knew of our relationship and that while the two of them were together early on, I professed my love for her. After that the very sight of me enraged him, leading to a one time physical altercation, which I have to admit, he got the best. After a while their relationship started becoming bumpy. In the middle of january in 1995 she contacted me. Kris sought empathy and comfort with me after what she described as “the holiday from hell”. We were not physical right away, but weeks after we got together, we began having a sexual relationship once again. We had sex on most days for nearly two months. Our bond was stronger than ever. She told me that I was the only man she could see herself with and that she loved me. Soon she told me she was pregnant and she didn’t know if I was the father or Bruce. She panicked and said that this was all a mistake. I told her I loved her but that didn’t matter to her. Bruce had more money than me and a good image that she could attach herself to and make herself famous. I once again was devastated but the last time I saw her I told her to do one thing for me; I told her to let me know if that child (Kendall) was mine, to which she agreed. More time went by, 2 years, before I got my answer. She told me that Kendall was my child but that I was to never tell the media or Bruce and I was never allow to have any contact with Kendall. She paid me $1 million to not say a word about it and I agreed. We completely cut off contact from one another for almost two decades. When I saw her again all the feelings came back and I could tell they did for her too. She said she was sorry for how things turned out and that she knew it must have killed me to have not been able to be there and watch my daughter grow up, but that it was for the best, they were all happy in the world they knew. From that day we have not had any contact, I know Kendall will never know that I am her real father and I know Kris will never tell her but I can not die with this on my soul, the world needs to know, even if they won’t believe it.
Sayali Khurana says
she is experimental test tube baby from all the above mentioned fuckers.