The whole Katie Holmes-Tom Cruise match-up is still a mystery to a few people.
And by a few people we mean everyone on planet Earth, and most of the aliens on planet Xenu.
But everyone should just shut up and leave them alone. Katie is a strong, free woman making brilliant career moves. She turned down the Batman sequel to do Mad Money with Queen Latifah, and now it looks as if she’s signed on for Broadway.
This is exciting news for Katie. Not only will she be able pursue new career venues, but the boundaries on her electric shock collar is said to include the Starbucks next to the theatre. Hello, Paul McCartney compilation CD!
We’ve just heard the exciting news about Katie Holmes signing on for the Broadway adaptation of Arthur Miller’s All My Sons for the role of Ann Deever, and we’re just tickled pink for several reasons:
1) It broadens her career base.
2) She may get to wear an eye patch and old timey pants with saddle bag looking pouches like her husband Tom Cruise does in the upcoming film Valkyrie.
3) It keeps her away from making any other utterly craptastic movies like Mad Money, with tag lines like “they’re having the crime of their lives”. Oh, wait… we get it! They’re put crime of their lives as opposed to time of their lives. Oh, that is rich!
But we can’t claim all of the excitement for Katie’s stage debut. The play’s producer, Eric Falkenstein, said some stuff about it, too:
“Katie is very well suited for the role of Ann. There is an additional layer of soul to Ann and from the work I’ve seen of Katie, she has always impressed with multi-faceted characters. She would nail it.”
Spot on, producer Eric Falkenstein. Spot on. As everyone knows, ‘multi-faceted’ is synonymous in showbusiness with ‘starring in blockbuster movies like Batman Begins and managing to not totally ruin the bloody thing’.
Plus, that additional layer of soul will come in handy for scene two in the second act of the play when the lights dim, a disco ball is lowered and the cast gathers on a rotating round bed for a soulful rendition of Sexual Healing.
We wish Katie the best of luck with the play, which is scheduled to preview in September. Stage performance requires overstated facial expressions and over-the-top displays of emotion.
Perhaps she could refer to every single photograph, video, and audio clip of every public appearance of herself and her husband over the past two years for a smidgen of inspiration.
Read more:
Katie Holmes Heads To Broadway – OK
pts says
At least she’d be away from Tom and all his nutty Scientology buddies, that’s gotta be a good thing
concerned says
when will it all stop? katie, if you are reading this, please, please stop forcing your horrible acting on us all. yes, we get it, you are trying to prove you are more than just the wife of a very famous actor. but, let’s face it, you are not. you are an awful actress with an over-rated view of self.
Whorehey says
Alright, you people have a lot of growing up to do, what with your attacking Katie Holmes for her poor carrer moves and inability to act. That’s not what Katie Holmes is about! She’s famous because she’s hot! Once Katie fails to register as hot, have at her. You lack of maturity and understanding on this matter is very unfortunate. You need to look beyond her personality, past her talents, and under her choices and decisions, to see the what makes Katie Holmes great. Her physical beauty.
euclid says
Whorehey;
If you see a beautiful woman and then someone whispers
in your ear that she has several highly contagious diseases,
does she still look the same to you? I mean, I take your point
about not looking too deeply here, but I can’t even stand the sight
of this android-enabling skankstress. Especially with the whole
Tom C ultra-wholesome “I shit vanilla ice cream and feed it to
hungry orphans” angle to it. Yeeach. I’d rather fuck a leopard shark.
mithaearon says
Whorehey Katie Holmes hot? we are talking about the same katie holmes thats married to the hobbit called Tom Cruise? She is not hot.
Concerned, Xenu will get you for saying that!
Hail Xenu!
JC says
Eric Falkenstein has been trying forever to get this off the ground. It’s nice to see he’s finally succeeding, but Katie Holmes is only being courted for the publicity factor. I remember him being bowled over by the crowds vying to see Julia Roberts come out of “Three Days of Rain,” he wants that badly.