Gas prices are under $2.00, Missy Elliot is back to the top of the ITunes chart, and Justin Bieber is doing likeable shit again.? In case that weird deja vu feeling you have been experiencing hasn’t been strong enough, Kanye West straight up brought it back to 2009 last night at the Grammy’s.
Once again, Beyonc?’s biggest supporter, besides her leechy dad and trippy sister, made it known to the world that he felt Bey was robbed of an award she rightfully deserved.? And once again, West managed to do it in a way that was totally douchey and ill reasoned.
For a while now since marry Kim and having a baby, Kanye has been a little quieter than normal.? He hasn’t beat up any paparazzi in a bit, he hasn’t gone on some major ALL CAPS SERIOUS AS SHIT Twitter rants.? It had seemed that maybe fatherhood had done Yeezus some good.
But then the mother fucking Grammy’s had to go and push his major red button.? Beyonc?.? When the award for Best Album of the Year was being presented, West was SHOCKED that Beyonc? didn’t win for that album she dropped without warning that ruined the way I hear the word “surfboard” forever.? Instead, Beck won (Did you get that creepy feeling again?? Shit is real timey wimey).
Well, when Beck went up on stage to accept his award, what do you think Mr. West did?
Yes, he did.? He walked up to the damn stage.? Now unlike with T Swift, West laughed it off and went back to his seat, so many thought for a moment, “Oh my gosh!? Kanye made a joke!”? Well, push back up that jaw, because you would be wrong.
After the Grammy’s, West let his bitch flag fly high and let the whole world know he was not fucking kidding, and that Beck should be bowing to the greatness that is Beyonc?
?If they want real artists to keep coming back, they need to stop playing with us. Flawless Beyonc? video, and Beck needs to respect artistry and he should have given his award to Beyonc?. And at this point, we tired of it! Because what happens is, when you keep on diminishing art and not respecting the craft and smacking people in the face after they deliver monumental feats of music. It's disrespectful to inspiration. And we as musicians have to inspire people who go to work everyday, and listen to Beyonc? and they feel like it takes them to another place. Then they do this whole promotional event, and they?ll run the music over somebody?s speech, an artist, because they want a commercial advertising. No, we not playing with them no more. And by the way, I got my wife, I got my daughter, and my clothing line, so I'm not gonna do nothing to put my daughter at risk. But I am here to fight for creativity, that's the reason I didn't say anything tonight. But y?all know what it meant when ?Ye walks on that stage.?
Now, I fully admit I didn’t necessarily realize Beck had a new album out, but I am sure there are a lot of you out there who would say that is because I am a shallow person who only listens to top 40 pop, so my knowledge would be limited because I am a fucking mindless lemming of autotune and Ryan Seacrest (You would be right, by the way).? But I do know that Beck plays about a dozen instruments, writes all of his own from start to finish, and has never resorted to talking about blow jobs and kitchen sex to sell records.? Beyonc? on the other hand has multiple co writers, feels changing 2 or 3 words in someone else’s song enough input to consider herself a “co-writer,” while also making use of auto tune.? I mean, let’s not start talking about which one of these two artists are really fucking with the craft.
Kanye then also went in hard on E! for daring to put their logos on the microphones because it detracted from his, erm, everyone’s beauty.
“Who designed these mics that you see? I took the E! off my mic. Okay, we know, it’s gonna be E! already! It’s gonna be E! at the bottom of the screen right here. We need to step up the taste level across the board on all networks. So you can see these outfits! Never before in your lives have we witnessed such beauty. Now we have to keep complimenting that, from the people who produce these shows, from the Grammys to E! ? respect artistry, respect visuals, beauty is important! I mean, the Kardashians wouldn’t be famous if beauty wasn’t important! It’s very, very important! The eyes, the eyes!”
Or the Kardashians wouldn’t be famous if your wife didn’t suck a mean one. But you know, beauty.? It’s amusing to me West would bash the company that is the whole reason Kim and her family are relevant at all today.? And they are only relevant by putting them everywhere, and branding the shit out of them, similar to slapping a logo on some mics.
Beck of course was a gentleman, and took the high road.
?I was just so excited he was coming up. He deserves to be on stage as much as anybody. How many great records has he put out in the last five years right?…I thought she was going to win. Come on, she's Beyonc?!
?You can't please everybody, man. I still love him and think he's genius. I aspire to do what he does.?
Oh no no no, Beck.? Do not aspire to be a total douchebag who cries about leather pants not being taken seriously.
The best part?of all of this, by the way, are the hilarious gifs showing the reactions of everyone in the audience when West took the stage.
There was the “Oh SHIT!” Reaction:
The Uncomfortable Reaction:
The “Oh Shit This is Great!” Reaction:
And the King of all reactions, The Jay Z.
Mr. Scrumpy says
With all due respect and I speak for all douche bags:
PEOPLE referring to other, PEOPLE, as douche bags, for whatever reason is inappropriate and un-called for.
WE inspire confidence and reassurance so women across the world can carry on without the worry of embarrassing odor and discomfort due to vaginal irritation caused by menstruation, yeast , working out, itchy dryness or other medical conditions.
You’ve seen the commercials.
I’ll bet there are douche bags all over the Kardashian household. Heck, even Bruce will need one of us once the transformation is complete. (Now THOSE! are some lucky douche bags.)
I’m not blaming Kanye (although “seemingly” a douche bag, after having a bad day). I’m calling out the press for associating US with someone who is more akin to, say… an over due, prison maxi pad, found in the yard after a cat fight.
Truth is; without us (douche bags), you all would be fucked, and I don’t mean literally.
The world would be filled with even more smelly, itchy, irritable pussy’s than there are now. And then what? More Kanye’s? Really? What is this world coming to?
I say we find another word or acronym to compare people like Kanye to, something more literal.
People need to recognize the great service douche bags, like me, have provided over the centuries. (Yes, I said centuries) and it’s time credit is given where credit is due. We will not stand for this any longer! We will not be compared to humans like Kanye, who wouldn’t know real talent if it douched him in the ass.
NOW STARTS THE REVOLUTION!!!
VIVA LA DOUCHE!!!
VIVA LA DOUCHE!!!
VIVA LA DOUCHE!!!