Drenched in a fog of our tears and laughter, we bring you news that Kaiser Chiefs consider the world of music to be too average. That’s right, the pot has just started on the kettle, “You’re black, son. Take it!”

For anyone so confused as to be standing by their telephone dialling the Press Complaints Commission, that was not a racist slur but an age-old idiom about hypocrisy. Kaiser Chiefs have a bloody nerve. The insincerity of labelling other peoples’ music ‘average’ when their own sounds like The Sons of Status Quo remixed fifteen times over.

Even then we don’t hate the Kaiser Chiefs. You can’t deny they pen a jolly ditty for the emo school disco, but they have got to know their place. Currently twelve miles south of Mediocre in a little town called Insipid.

Drummer Nick Hodgson has the most runaway mouth in the group. He couldn’t rest once he got started on the appalling state of music today (perhaps like your granddad, minus the dribbling):

"I was watching this film about the Ramones. It got me thinking how everything was so average nowadays. There's so much shit in guitar music at the moment. You imagine an A&R man seeing this bandwagon, jumping on it and signing any old shit with a guitar around its neck."

He has a point in so much that many new bands are jumping on the bandwagon to sound as much like the Arctic Monkeys as possible without spraying on their own jeans – but Kaiser Chiefs? Really?

Fellas, you can’t make shit without standing in it.

On reflection that statement makes no sense, but it certainly has the ring of a proper soundbite. Maybe you could throw it around today and see what response you get? Blame us if it hits the ground like a lead parfait. Just don’t blame us for what Kaiser Chief Man said.

One, two, three, "Whatever you want"… Sorry, easy mistake. "Ruby, Ruby, Ruby, Ruby!"

Read More:

Kaiser Chief: ‘Music Is So Average Nowadays’ – Female First