Justin Timberlake’s Suit and Tie Aren’t So Fashionable

Justin Timberlake

People of the world, rejoice! Justin Timberlake is literally bringing sexy back by simply existing in our lives and making sweet, sweet music. After a long hiatus, Timberlake’s decided to release a new album, called Suit and Tie, and he’s going all in on the branding and PR blitz that follows.

It seems like every moment he possibly gets he mentions it. Even the wearing of a suit and tie – one of his usual wardrobe staples – becomes an opportunity to scream loudly “HEY DID YOU GUYS KNOW THAT I HAVE AN ALBUM OUT TITLED THE SAME THING I’M WEARING? HOW WEIRD RIGHT?!”

And if you look at the photo above, he’s managed to parlay that into his Grammy awards outfit. Timberlake wore a (dinner) suit and (bow) tie, which is what those in the public relations game call BRAND DIVERSITY. And from a distance, he looked very dapper. As a straight man, I would.

But then the cameras zoomed in a little closer.



That looks like something Austin Powers would wear. It’s trippy, man. Like a throwback to the 1970s.

In fact, it looks like those fake wood veneers that used to cover TV stands in the 1970s, just dyed black. I’m not quite sure what happened, but it certainly doesn’t look right. And suddenly, you begin to notice that the bow tie is kinda huge as well. And that it looks to be a bit sad and droopy.

And the guy’s wearing white socks with it. White socks!?! That shit got you beaten up at school! I know for a fact that people who wore white sports socks with black dress trousers and black dress shoes were seen as uncool geeks that ought to be taken behind the school dumpsters and beaten up just for being stupid and unfashionable.

Either we’re witnessing the first steps of Justin Timberlake managing to transform the fashion world upside down singlehandedly, or this was a misstep.


But actually, it doesn’t really matter. You see, all this was forgotten in a moment. Because the band played, Timberlake stepped up to the microphone and he began singing. And suddenly everyone realised that Justin Timberlake could wear a Spyro the Dragon onesie and still be cool.

All is forgiven, Justin! I apologise for calling into question your ability to dress yourself! Just keep singing, please. Please, keep singing. It keeps us going on cold February nights.


  1. Bitch please says

    Another easily fooled dumb ass bitch falls this loser’s act. How quickly you all forget what a douche this man truly is. What will it take? Justin Timberlake is a miserable human being who is not happy unless he is demeaning other human beings. No wonder he an Jay Z are good pals, they are made from the same cloth.