Did someone say Justin Bieber? Quick throw us a towel so we can mop the sweat off our brow. After all, he is like totally wonderful and can pretty do anything at all. After buying the albums, posters, t-shirt we're currently saving up for his own line of nail varnish so we can frolic around looking like some sort of crap goth who got a happiness injection.
It seems that there is nothing that Justin Bieber can't do. After melting down Twitter, we were hoping he'd shuffle away and not come back until he'd hit puberty and grown a caterpillar moustache.
However, the Bieber train is rolling on strong with the pint sized singer now venturing in to the world of rhythmic American poetry, or rap to us and you. But don't tell anyone about this; it looks like this is meant to be some sort of secret as he's recording under the guise ?Shawty Mane?. Probably so when it goes tits up it can be swept under the carpet and forgotten.
You don't see many young Canadian children releasing rap albums. There are quite a few reasons for this, mainly because nobody wants to know songs of teen angst when it comes to sexual frustration and daily experiments in masturbation. Actually when we come to think about it, most rap music in general is just the same. Spotify any rapper and you\’ll hear from oversiezed gentlemen telling us about their ho?s, bitches, ludicrously expensive cars, going to nightclubs, drinking overpriced champagne and their cars.
Now there can be exceptions to the above rules, but the end result is still a rubbish song. Everybody went mental for Jay-Z?s recent track, ?Empire State Of Mind?. OK, even we admit it, the hooks were catchy,? but that was about it. If you're not from New York or haven't been to The Big Apple, the song has no relevance what so ever.
In it, Jay-Z harps on about multiple locations in the city which at best sounds like a GPS system that's on the blink and randomly shouting directions to streets and landmarks.
Justin Bieber or ?Shawty Mane? as he wants to be known is probably going to find it difficult to find subject matter to rap about. He can't use any naughty rude words for a start. Mainly because he's still too young to know and he'd corrupt his fanbase of tweens.
However, he is keen to showcase his supposed rap skills and has produced this video which would look more realistic if it didn't have silly amounts of editing in post production done to it:
After listening to the first ten seconds we can confirm that rapping really isn't a career that is cut out for Shawty Bieber or whatever he wants to be bloody called.
Sample lyric ?speaking in tongues yebedabadaba ba da wa la, I’m killing this caca? literally sounds like it was created after a group of dyslexics had a game of Scrabble and those were the words formed after the carnage ensued.
As this is his second musical project, we expect his next move to be in something completely different. Such as using his penis to paint pictures to go in a ?modern art gallery.?
BiebersGurlie says
I LOVE SHAWTY MANE! LOL
JB ur my baby baby baby wooah like baby baby baby nooooooo like baby baby baby oooooooo
U WILL ALWAYS BE MINE, MINE XXXXXX
Alyssa Rodriguez says
hi Justin Bieber you are so sexy and i love you so .i also what to go out with you and be girlfriend and boyfriend
Pingu says
i actually laughed out loud that was so bad :L
Cookie Monster says
On behalf of Canada, I apoligize. Please, have a chocalate chip or peanut butter cookie on us.
The line
J-Dawg says
Holy crap this guy cant be serious -_-
I dought says
i thought i was at the wrong site when i saw that girl in a hoodie but no it was just bieber lol. bieber has low testosterone (if any) and micropenus (if any) SPREAD THE WORD!!