Around 9 months ago, Justin Bieber was a bunch of sperms approaching an egg. One of those sperms got lucky and dived straight into the egg and created a hideous, haircut that could sing and dance. With that in mind, it isn’t surprising that much of the world confuses poor little Biebles.
In the past 48 seconds, someone will have distracted his attentions from a milky teat to explain things like ‘warmth’ and ‘thirst’ to him. He’s still getting to grips with having fully formed eyes and fingerprints.
So it isn’t really news that he can’t make head-nor-tail of Lady GaGa and that he felt her egg entrance at the Grammy Awards was just plain weird. Then again, Bieber thinks that the sun is weird.
It goes without saying that the whole point of GaGa’s entrance in a plastic egg was to be a bit off the wall and get people talking… which it did. It was Bjork’s swan dress taken to the nth degree.
GaGa’s stylist, Nicola Formichetti, said that the singer was “incubating” for her performance later that night. Justin Bieber just couldn’t get his tiny little head ’round the whole thing.
“People say it’s artistic and stuff. I’m just like, ‘You’re an egg.’ “
“She was probably just trying to save her voice or something. She didn’t want to talk to a lot of people. She was trying to do something creative.”
Bieber was just disappointed that, when it opened, no-one offered him an omelette. He still thinks Kinder Eggs are laid by magic chickens.
The meat dress that GaGa wore at the 2010 VMAs still confuses him.
“She went for a hug and I was like, ‘Oh, let’s hold up on that. You have meat on you!’ I thought both were weird.”
GaGa is probably hoping that she gave the little shit nightmares.
Elsewhere, people reading this article now can’t decide who to side with. Do you go for the outlandish oddball pop singer and give a thumbs up to an egg based transportation device, a la Mork? Or do you end up agreeing with Justin Bieber’s amniotic views?
You must choose.
Or ignore both, it really is entirely up to you.