If a small ornament fell off your mantlepiece late last week, relax – it was all Jon and Kate Gosselin’s fault.
Well, indirectly anyway. It’s all because police officers were called to the home of Jon and Kate Gosselin following what appears to be a monumental argument. Having seen Jon & Kate Plus 8‘s fairytale world, we only assume the argument was about cupcake frosting or something.
But anyway, that’s not what caused the ornament to topple off your mantlepiece. No, that was due to the force caused by everyone on Earth muttering “Oh those poor children” to themselves in unison.
Drat! In our office Jon & Kate Plus 8 Inevitable Tragedy Sweepstake, we’d picked ‘Oldest Child Develops A Crippling Drug Addiction As An Obvious Cry For Help’. And we were sure that we’d win! But damn it, it looks like we’ve been pipped to the post by ‘Jon and Kate Gosselin Argue So Furiously That Police Are Called To Their Home’!
It’s a disappointment, especially for the poor fool who picked ‘Kate Gosselin’s Self-Esteem Drops So Low That She Embarks On Enough Cut-Price Cosmetic Surgery To Leave Her Resembling A Funny-Haired Manatee’. We were looking forward to that one.
But we digress. In a unnecessarily roundabout way, we’re trying to tell you that police were called to Jon and Kate Gosselin’s home late on Thursday night after an argument got out of control. There are several even-handed, bias-free accounts of the incident to be found on the incident but, screw it, here’s Jon Gosselin’s version as reported by People:
“[Kate] tried to come home yesterday and I wouldn’t let her in the gate and I guess she called the police.” On Thursday, police were called to the family’s Wernersville, Pa., home after Kate showed up with concerns over the babysitter caring for her children. But she was denied access to the property because of her custody agreement. “She tried to cry it up with the cops and it didn’t work,” Jon says. “They said, ‘You have to leave.'”
So that’s it? Kate Gosselin tried to break her custody agreement because she was concerned about a babysitter? That’s silly – we’re sure that Jon Gosselin is taking very good care of her. By which we mean that she’s probably shagging her. We have no proof of that, and in fact we’re 99% sure that he isn’t shagging the babysitter, but she is a woman and he is Jon Gosselin – the king of all randy overweight put-upon husbands, remember – so we’re only following the obvious train of thought.
Anyway, will this dramatic police-assisted showdown between Jon and Kate Gosselin be broadcast on a future episode of Jon & Kate Plus 8? That all depends on whether or not there’s a gap for it between all the insultingly sterilised footage of the Gosselin children skipping around in the back garden that usually makes up an average Jon & Kate Plus 8 episode. On past experience, we’re guessing that there won’t be.
liz says
Jon is an ego maniac who is going through a mid life crisis brought on early due to the “stress” of raising 8 kids with a wife who expected him to participate … poor jon he really thinks that the grass is greener, well that new “20 yr. old grass” will want children, idiot, and then there will be 9,10,etc…! How much stress will that add huh Jon…