John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John have teamed up for a new Christmas album that is guaranteed to make you want to jump off a bridge. In addition to standard Christmas songs, like “Silent Night” and “Winter Wonderland,” the album features one new song written for the erstwhile Danny and Sandy by John Farrar who also wrote Grease’s “You’re the One That I Want.”
The new song, “I Think You Might Like It,” is definitely up there among the worst songs you will ever hear. Trust me. And the video is even more horrifying.
All proceeds from John and Olivia’s album, called “This Christmas” (not to be confused with the Chris Brown movie), go to charity which is very nice. If I may, however, I would suggest that you go on ahead and just donate your money directly to a charity, if you’re so inclined, and skip the album altogether.
It’s really that bad. I get the fact that they’re former co-stars, one of film’s most seminal couples, and it’s adorable that they’re together again … I get it … but it’s embarassing to see them like this. They’re like awful, embarassing parents.
Olivia, for her part, is still lovely. She still has that big smile and rosy cheeks. John, on the other hand, gets creepier by the day. In the video for “I Think You Might Like It,” he sports a really gross, unflattering chin patch and the hair on the top of his head appears to have been spray-painted directly onto his scalp … with a stencil to make his hairline extra-crisp, Dr. Spock-style.
In a refreshing break from the sentimental shlock of most Christmas songs, “I Think You Might Like It” blazes a new trail, telling the story of a couple who are reuniting at home for Christmas and cannot wait to see each other! It’s genius! Why has no one thought of that before?
The video is set in sunny Florida, which is an odd choice to say the least for a Christmas setting. A snowy or at least cold-looking place may have seemed more seasonally appropriate. The video begins with John flying an airplane and Olivia driving a pretty cool mint green antique convertible, ostensibly on the way to meet each other. In his excitement, John actually dares to make this sassy demand from Santa Claus:
“You better put your sleigh in a holding pattern, Santa please.”
John and Olivia finally reunite at what appears to be a small airport, running awkwardly into each other’s arms. Then they do a sad little dance which I guess is supposed to remind everyone of “You’re the One that I Want.” Inside the airport, things get funky with John’s wife, Kelly Preston, dancing along with their two children, Ella Bleu and Benjamin, as well as a policeman, a few other kids, an eldery couple, and a few soldiers.
The chorus has the creepiest and most idiotic lines, sung by John and Olivia together:
“Then we’re gonna hide away, makin’ love all night/We can cry tomorrow watching ‘It’s a Wonderful Life.'”
Where to begin with this one. First, no one believes that John has any intention of making love to any woman, even for five minutes much less all night … though he does seem like the type to cry at “It’s a Wonderful Life.” Second, in my opinion, anyone who is old enough to even be interested in “makin’ love” is too old to cry watching “It’s a Wonderful Life.” They would have already seen it by that age and you can only reasonably cry the first time and even then only if you’re a corny as shit. Beyond that, the only man who would agree to snuggle like John and Olivia do in the video and watch that stupid movie is either gay or 80 years old.
The ending completes the pandering to Grease fans with John and Olivia riding away in the convertible, as Olivia turns and waves … no doubt trembling with excitement that she’s about to be rocked all night by her lusty Dr Spock.