JK Rowling To Write A New Book; Polishes Off Diamond Typewriter

One of the most famous authors of all time, JK Rowling, is set to dust off her fingers one more time to write a new book. Not just any book but a book for adults. It?s suddenly become acceptable to read JK Rowling on the tube. Huzzah.

The writer, estimated to be worth the same as three African countries and a large portion of Australia, decided to shake what her mother gave her and pop out another book before blasting out another bambino.

Although nothing massive has been confirmed by Rowling?s literary agent, The Blair Partnership, Rowling herself decided to spill the beans to the entire World by releasing a statement.

?Although I?ve enjoyed writing it every bit as much, my next book will be very different to the Harry Potter series, which has been published so brilliantly by Bloomsbury and my other publishers around the world.?

That woman simply cannot stop talking about how successful she is can she? Conceited, thy name is Joanne Kathleen. You just know that she?ll flash the gold taps that she bought from Botswana orphans whenever she can.

?The freedom to explore new territory is a gift that harry?s success has brought me, and with that new territory it seemed a logical progression to have a new publisher. I am delighted to have a second publishing home in Little, Brown, and a publishing team that will be a great partner in this new phase of my writing life.?

The Harry Potter series have sold around 400m copies of the seven books around the World and made billions of people fall back into the right behavior of reading books instead of tapping aimlessly into their phones, setting up meetings, or canceling meetings, or whatever it is that busy people do with meetings.

Harry Potter was ground breaking in being one of the first books to be aimed clearly at children, but slowly revealing a fictional history that closely mirrored our own around the time of Nazi Germany and the atrocities performed within.

But that?s a little depressing for Friday, so instead, let?s watch Ellen DeGeneres be a Death Eater and forget all about Auschwitz.


  1. Cookie Monster says

    Great post. I have no words to attempt to adequately describe my enthusiasm about how much sarcastic drip plopped off of each word. All that I have are these simple words at my disposal; what a wonderful, gigantic plop of a bunch of dripping words making a post that this is. I mean that in the most sincere way.