This is a shame. We were really looking forward to seeing Jennifer Lopez become a judge on American Idol.
She knows everything. As a singer, Jennifer Lopez could have taught the contestants how to sing. As a dancer, Jennifer Lopez could have taught the contestants how to dance. As an actor, Jennifer Lopez could have taught the contestants how to emote. And as Jennifer Lopez, Jennifer Lopez could have taught the contestants to make impossible demands of local venues and then freak out whenever anyone makes unapproved eye contact with them.
But it isn’t to be. Reports have suggested that Jennifer Lopez is now out of the running to become a judge on the next season of American Idol. It’s a pity. The money would have come in handy. After all, Jennifer Lopez has two growing buttocks to look after.
This American Idol judging saga is getting to be a bit of a mess, isn’t it? At times it’s seemed like everyone on the planet has had their name linked to the job. Everyone apart from Kara DioGuardi, obviously – the American Idol producers aren’t stupid, after all.
But Jennifer Lopez seemed like a dead cert. Less transparently dim than Jessica Simpson. Less bizarre to look at than Steven Tyler. Less expensive than Elton John. We honestly thought that Jennifer Lopez had all the qualifications necessary to really make the American Idol judge’s table her own.
But now we’re being told that Jennifer Lopez is out of the picture. Why? People reports:
Jennifer Lopez won't be a judge on American Idol after all, according to a source close to the situation. The singer-actress had been closing a deal to be a permanent judge on the show for its upcoming 10th season but the deal fell apart. ?Her demands got out of hand,? says the source. ?Fox had just had enough.?
But of course. Her demands got out of hand. We forgot that Jennifer Lopez was Jennifer Lopez for a second there. We don’t know what these demands were but, on the basis that Jennifer Lopez is Jennifer Lopez, we’re fully expecting them to include the following:
* 24 dressing rooms, all painted an identical shade of white.
* The American Idol studios to be attached to a thermostat in her mind, so that she and she alone can control the temperature.
* To be called ‘Ms Lopez’, ‘Madame Lopez’, ‘Our Lord The Almighty Ruler’, or ‘Sugartush’ depending on her mood.
* The weekly Ford performance to be ditched and replaced by a performance promoting whatever her last film was. Also, cups of Coca-Cola to be scrapped so that all judges can sip from giant cups of Jennifer Lopez Sunkissed Glow perfume.
* To never be looked at in the eye. By anyone. Including cameras. When Jennifer Lopez speaks, cameras are instead to focus on one of Randy Jackson‘s elbows.
Follow hecklerspray on Twitter
Jeff says
I don’t know if she can sing or dance, b/c I don’t pay enough attention to her, but I can say for a certainty, she is no actress. She couldn’t act her way out of a paper bag, if her life depended on it.
redheadcherokee says
OK, we get it, you really don’t like her. Is it necessary to be so snide though? Maybe you actually pay more attention to her than you’d like to admit!
philo says
drug resistant bugs have destroyed my wood and the balsac underneath
Joenamherst says
Thank the lord that this feeble ‘acress-singer was not allowed to be a judge on A.I.. Now myself and most of the people that I talked to about this can watch A.I. next season. She most certainly would have been the straw that broke A.I.’s back. I would rather have seen William Hung, Tatiana Del Toro or even Bikini Girl (who incidently has a waaaay better body then Jennifur) as a judge!
kola says
jlo cannot sing, i dont kno about dancing but she cannot sing, and then agian this is a sining contest, she does not need to be a judge, they should just cancel the stupid ass show, all the orginal judges decided to leave. b.s
bb2121 says
Thank god she’s not gonna be a judge on the show. Every contestant that has made it on that show can singer better than JLo. I hate to think what is gonna happen to that show if the producers actually thought at one point that JLo would have made a good judge.
Anita says
I know this won’t be a popular suggestion, but since AI has now spawned some talent that have entered into musical genres other than “Pop”…how about having a judge that ISN’T Pop/R&B??? Personally I’d love to see them get a different musical legend each season…don’t keep the same stale judges indefinitely. I’d LOVE to see Cher judge, Reba McIntire, George Straight, Garth Brooks, Aretha Franklin, Tina Turner, and yes Elton John, Billy Joel…people like that. People with real staying power in the business, most of which have REAL talent…and truly KNOW what it takes to endure in show-biz.
Jlo…has NEVER impressed me…but I can see Steven Tyler being a judge. When it comes to musical talent (his own other issues aside)…he runs circles around Jlo and her butt AND he’s an example of a musical legend who knows the biz!
dave meccariello says
This show has jumped the shark. Pull it while it still has somw dignity and let it return for special events
joe says
I would’ve liked to have seen her perform. American idol is one of the few shows that doesn’t promote lip syncing and j-lo is at the top of a covert up for her vocals. A lot of rumors place her in lone with Milli vanilli…wish someone would finally verify this
Mirta Rodriguez says
It doesn’t matter if you think she can’t act, sing or dance; she would definetly bring in the audience!