Jennifer Lawrence Naked Under Clothes; Probably Has Sex

jlaw

Unless you’ve been living with the Amish these last few days, then you’ve probably heard about the biggest nudey pic photo leak in Hollywood history. Some low life douche bag, who I assume looks like the comic book guy from “The Simpsons”, decided to hack dozens of famous broads computers and leaked nude pics of everyone from former It Girl, Kirsten Dunst, to current It Girl, Jennifer Lawrence.

As much as I fucking love looking at celebrity boobs (it’s legit a favorite pastime of mine), I’m getting pretty fucking sick of seeing lame ass losers who spend all day jerking off to anime in their stepmom’s basement, invading the privacy of young women. It’s pretty bad when I, Krysta Fitzpatrick, World’s Okayest Celebrity Blogger, thinks you need to get a fucking life.

So, just to fill you in a little more, in case you’re not in the know, this guy (I’m assuming it’s a guy, since if it was a woman hacker then we’d finally have those Ryan Gosling dick pics we all hope exist. Yes, I know it’s a double standard for me to say that, but I’m just joking so calm the fuck down) has leaked alleged naked/topless photos of such women as JLaw, Kirsten Dunst, Victoria Justice, Kate Upton, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Teresa Palmer, and Ariana Grande, just to name a few.

While celebs like Victoria and Ariana are denying the pics are of them and calling photoshop, other celebs, like Mary Elizabeth and JLaw aren’t denying shit, but calling the pics what they really are: a huge fucking invasion of privacy.

JLaw’s peeps released this statement:

This is a flagrant violation of privacy. The authorities have been contacted and will prosecute anyone who posts the stolen photos of Jennifer Lawrence.

While Mary Elizabeth said on Twitter:

To those of you looking at photos I took with my husband years ago in the privacy of our home, hope you feel great about yourselves.

Knowing those photos were deleted long ago, I can only imagine the creepy effort that went into this. Feeling for everyone who got hacked.

I feel like Mary’s statement really reflects why the real scandal here isn’t the pictures themselves, but the fact that loser ass fucktards who are so desperate to see a celebrities nipple that they will find a way to get their hands on old deleted pictures, which I assume takes a real fuck ton of effort to do, even exist.

A lot of people are using the “slut shaming” line to describe what the hacker and the internet is doing to these ladies, but I kind of disagree. In fact, I’m kind of impressed by the overall attitude of the internet, which has been pointing out that this isn’t a scandal and shouldn’t make you look at any of these women differently.

I mean, is it really breaking fucking news that underneath her clothes Jennifer Lawrence is naked and *GASP* probably has THE SEX!

Is it scandalous that the insanely stunning Teresa Palmer (ok, I was excited to see her boob pics, but if I really wanted to see her naked, she’s done nudity in films. You know, the kind of nudity she CONSENTED to) probably took some topless pics for her husband?

Is it shocking that sometimes grown ass women in this day and age take sexy pics for their significant other (or even just for themselves. Some days you look good and are just like “damn, get it gurl!)?

No, none of this is shocking. And if it does shock you, well, you’re an idiot.

I think my favorite reaction to this “scandal” so far is that of comedian, Bo Burnham, who said on Twitter:

OMGG YASSS STOLEN NAKED PICTURES OF YOUNG WOMEN YASSSS BLATANT VIOLATION OF A FELLOW HUMAN BEING’S PRIVACY SO HOTTT OMFGGG MMMMM!

I love a good tit pic, but this shit is getting a bit ridiculous.

fuckit

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