Jennifer Aniston has had her boobs stolen. It's not the blood-covered affair that more perverse mental imagery might demand. We understand why it would though, after an opening sentence like that.
Yes, this story has less to do with black markets and bathtubs filled with ice than it does electronic imagery of Jennifer Aniston's magically exposed flotsam and jetsam being strewn freely about the internet. Problem here is that some large Hollywood conglomerate owns pictures of Jennifer Aniston's bare jugs, and they sure as heck don't want to share.
Of course, the agency's lack of sharing doesn't mean the image isn't available. Perez Hilton, an entertainment blogger without a doctorate in anything (we're just saying…) posted the pic on his site, and now he's getting sued to kingdom come.
Jennifer Aniston may have a tampered with nose, but her lady-bags are the real deal. A real deal, mind you, that she sometimes shows people. Universal City Studios Productions, for instance, found itself in the rare circumstance of being sole owners of at least one picture of Jennifer Aniston's unadorned chest. Now when you own something like that, you put it in a vault, promising yourself that the only eyes to ever see it again will be that of Aniston's future husband, Gary Coleman. You mock, but we've seen it – in a tent. Seriously, we helped read his palm once.
But Universal City Studios Productions took the picture for granted, and left it lying around near some devious guy with a scanner. The photo mysteriously ended up online. It's electronic home, apparently, was the website of Perez Hilton, an entertainment blogger who we think we killed in Halo like six times in 20 minutes once. It was easy because he lacked all those skills.
Well UCSP nearly exploded when they learned of the 'illegal' Aniston picture posting, and made their lawyers draft up a fancy lawsuit detailing 7.5 million dollars in punishment. The copyright infringement complaint filed reads in part:
"This is a civil action seeking damages, injunctive relief and other remedies for copyright infringement under the copyright laws of the United States."
Awesome right? Well Hilton, an entertainment blogger that we heard types like a little sissy girl, says it's an unfounded and unrighteous lawsuit. More specifically his peeps have issued this statement:
"It is unfortunate that Universal has chosen to bring this lawsuit as our client has done nothing wrong. Apparently, Universal's notice was sent somewhere in Arizona rather than to our client directly, and when our client received direct notice, in good faith, our client removed the picture notwithstanding the right to the fair use of the photograph."
Will Hilton, an entertainment blogger we've heard can't even eat gluten because he metabolises it too weird, get off the hook? Will he continue to use piss-poor paragraph structure and ill-timed punctuation? Will hecklerspray continue to totally do his mom?
hecklerspray never did anyone's mom.
Read More:
Universal is gunning for Perez over Aniston topless photos – Monsters & Critics
Bilini says
I heard that Perez wears a wig and only has two ribs
James says
If you do a google images search on Jennifer Aniston on about page 3 or 4 there’s a picture of her wearing this sheer top which leaves nothing to the imagination. Nothing whatsoever.
Boobs are wonderful things aren’t they.