This week hasn't proved too kindly for females has it? To hecklerspray, all women are wonderful creations that make our lives better on a daily basis. Even though you need an instruction manual the thickness of a washing machine to work out how they work. Unless you're a gay man it seems.
Some of the fascinating facts about women will never be discovered. But we won't make fun of Stephen Fry. We don't want him to cry and threaten to leave Twitter.
Now men have come in for a ticking off. Not off a lesbian like Claire Balding, but a shaggy haired motoring bloke, James May. You know, the fourth most popular presenter after Clarkson, the one that does the terrible Morrison?s adverts and the recently ousted Stig.
May won't be winning any fans as he's claimed that all modern men are morons. Further still, you might bore women senseless, only interacting with them until they beg for your sperm juice.
This is turning in to some sort of sexual conundrum that no-one seems capable of solving. Not even the replacement for Carol Vorderman on Countdown could work this one out. We?ll start the beginning, cast your mind back to what knowledge guru Stephen Fry allegedly said:
?I feel sorry for straight men. The only reason women will have sex with them is that sex is the price they are willing to pay for a relationship with a man, which is what they want.”
“Of course, a lot of women will deny this and say, ‘Oh no, but I love sex, I love it!’ But do they go around having it the way that gay men do??
Okay, so women only want sex if it's in a relationship. Great, we?ll throw that in to our calculator, totally forgetting one night stands, flings and situations of cheating whilst in a marriage/relationship. But James May has oddly decided to have a go at the modern bloke and wade in to the argument that men nowadays don't know their arse from their elbow.
The Daily Mail report May saying:
“I keep reading that women are better at school and now better at parking, better at navigating. And we are sort of laughing at it going, ?Ho ho ho, I'm just a bloke?
Reading between the lines as best we can, he wants to stop this culture of boys not being bothered about underperforming and waiting till they grow up to learn key life skills. That's all well and good, but randomly a huge line is crossed as May switches from innocent education issues to the murky world of sex.
The Daily Mail again quote May as saying:
?In my lifetime men will only be required to keep sperm at operating temperature and they will have no other functions. If men do not return to their more masculine roles, women will soon no longer have a use for them except as sperm donors.?
But hold on a second! We thought women didn't want sex unless they were in a relationship?! Surely if a rubbish bloke can't impress with skills like capturing a spider in a cup or opening a jar of pickles we're all doomed!
No-one will want to get down and dirty, therefore the animal kingdom seems likely to rise up and knock us off our position as top species.
What we need is a sex off between Stephen Fry, James May and a group of women to see who is right once and for all.
Stella says
Only thick-sculled men need instruction manuals to understand women and probably people in general.