You may be sick of Rihanna releasing a new record every thirty seconds, but you ain’t got it so bad. Why? Well, Rihanna is sick. Properly sick. No. No sick of her releasing a record every 30 seconds. She’s actually sick-sick.
So what’s the deal then? Is she going to die?
Well, according to various reports, Rihanna has been put under 24-hour surveillance because those around her are so very, very worried about her health. Really worried. Worried she’s going to die eventually.
Apparently, she’s been struggling during the UK leg of her tour and is now being closely monitored. You only get closely monitored when you are going to die or something, right?
It must be bad and definitely, absolutely facty fact-fact getting worse because she nearly cancelled her show in Dublin last week.
No-one cancels a show in Ireland unless they are totally going to die or something.
She only went ahead with the show fter speaking to Beyonce on the phone. Does Beyonce know that Rihanna is going to die or something and wants RiRi to make the most of her life or something?
Wait.
She’s totally performing at the 02 tonight. There’s nothing wrong with her is there? This is just people fretting over Rihanna because she’s been working a lot recently.
TOO MUCH IN FACT. Stop releasing records or we’ll totally murder you.
Or something.
Me says
This is the funniest excuse for an “article” I have ever read. Seriously, how old are you? My 12 year old niece could do a better job. What a sad little person you are.
Wow says
LOL! This is one of the worst articles I have ever read. Don’t quit your day job because writing is NOT for you.
Cookie Monster says
My cat said “Me” “Wow” too. I slapped it a few times, and now it says “woof”. Does that make me a bad muppet?