George Michael must’ve been running around the heath without his vest on because he’s gone and got himself a nice dose of pneumonia, which means that Hev from Eastenders won’t be able to go to his gigs because he went and cancelled them.
Y’know, because of the pneumonia?
George was hospitalised on Monday in Austria, so this must be a pretty bad cold he’s got. We need to know exactly how bad it is though, for a myriad of reasons. We basically need to be told whether he’s about to die or not.
When celebrities get ill, we need to be told explicitly whether we’re allowed to laugh or not. With Georgie, we’re not in the picture at all.
The statement reads:
“With great regret, George Michael has been forced to postpone his November 26 and 27 shows in Cardiff, Wales, due to his on-going illness.
“Plans to reschedule these postponed tour dates will be provided when available.”
This is all well and vague, but what are we supposed to do with this information? Just report it flat, as it is? No. We need to know whether we’re allowed to mock and whoop because, effectively, he’s going to be fine… or, indeed, we need to know whether or not to start wringing our hands with faux-worry and start talking about how important he is in the world of pop, despite the fact we don’t actually like his records.
If someone tells us how serious his illness is, we can try and put some context on the activities of his past. For example, if he’s going to be fine, we can somehow make his pneumonia look like its a result of recklessness, like the time he crashed his car while stoned or got his lad out in a toilet before an undercover cop.
If he’s about to perish and join that choir invisible, then we need to not mention his past at all, apart from glowing reference about how many record sales he’s had and any potential charity work he’s done.
Basically, we need George Michael to either sort himself out or die. We don’t mind which because these are just hollow words whatever happens.
Eugenia says
Would you like this article to be written about a beloved family member? I’m suspecting you’re thinking no. There you go.
Cookie Monster says
I would like to know if a beloved family member is about to join the choir invisible. George Michael, however, is neither beloved, nor a family member. What was your point, exactly?
Cedric Beedlebug says
I hope that George is going to be ok, he gets rid of his drugs and gets back to the charts…….. where he should be……
Lovey says
the point is your an asshole and before you go and make up nonesence, george michael is loved very much by fans, friends and FAMILY. He is loved fa much more than you. George may be gay but acts more straight than you.