If there is one thing I’ve become known for here at Hecklerspray, it’s my hard-hitting investigative journalism. I like to think I single-handedly blew the lid off the Kylie Jenner 2.0 scandal (TELL US WHAT HAPPENED TO THE REAL KYLIE, KRIS!!!), and now I’m here to once again blow your minds with my Ann Coulter level journalism skills.
If you’re like me, which many of you don’t seem to be, you might be familiar with a fabulous Disney Channel show called Shake it Up. It’s the show that made Zendaya famous! It also made Bella Thorne famous; and like Miley Cyrus before her, Bella has decided to go from Disney princess to Ratchet baby hooker real quick.
When I was initially Googling pictures for this investigative report, I typed in ‘Bella Thorne Ratchet’, but that didn’t work because apparently she voiced a character in some stupid Ratchet and Clank movie, which is actually kind of perfect and I really hope she played this Ratchet character.
ANYWAY, for those of you who don’t know, this is Bella Thorne when she first became famous on the show Shake it Up, where she was an absolute beautiful girl with incredible talent.
Total cutie, right? Well, it’s also important to note that Bella was (and is) friends with Kylie Jenner, because that’s going to make this next part important.
Please take a good long look at those original noses, lips, chins, hips and breasts, because in a mere two years those totally normal looking, totally cute teenage girls will never be seen again! The above picture was taken early 2014. This is Bella and Kylie now…
I’ll just give you a minute to let that sink in.
Like her good bud, Kylie Jenner, Bella decided to treat herself to the typical things every girl in LA gets for her 17th birthday: A nose job, lip injections, chin reduction, and Brazilian butt lift! Bella soon followed up with implants, but, I mean, what teenage girl shouldn’t be able to completely make over her entire body and face!
But it gets even worse with Bella, because while Kylie, for the most part, dresses pretty nice, Bella has decided to go in the absolute opposite direction and has started dressing like a goddamn lot lizard! (For those of you who do not know, a lot lizard is a girl, normally a younger girl, who prostitutes herself to truckers by hanging out at popular truck stops and essentially dressing like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman meets Punky Brewster).
I would like to submit the following pieces of evidence into my investigation:
I mean, I really have no idea what’s going on with this absolute mess of a look, because I’m all about freeing the nips and wearing as little as possible, but I look at Bella Thorne and all I can think is ‘Why does she look like a baby prostitute?’ and ‘WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO BELLA THORNE!?’
Bella isn’t as famous as Kylie Jenner, so clearly the world didn’t notice as much when she basically got reconstructive surgery on her entire existence like they did with Kylie, but I have noticed! Which leads me to my hypothesis on why Bella Thorne dresses like a lot lizard: THAT IS NOT THE REAL BELLA THORNE!
Ok, so GET THIS, Bella, Kylie, and this other broad named Pia Mia have been friends for years. This is Pia just a couple of years ago with Kylie and Bella:
This is how those 3 girls look now:
Ok, so what if like the real Bella Thorne, Kylie Jenner and Pia Mia either a) got into a car accident together and died, or b) witnessed a crime and are now undercover somewhere in special protection, and have therefore now been replaced with more Hollywood/pornstar looking replicas? THAT WOULD EXPLAIN SO MUCH! Honestly, I was just anticipating writing a blog about all the stupid fucking shit Bella Thorne wears these days, but this has really turned into quite a big conspiracy theory and I really think I’m onto something.
Maybe I’m getting too close. Before I know it, Whoopi Goldberg will be knocking at my door all like:
Varshitaa says
First thing…..you have no damn right to question them or what they did….who the f*ck are you anyway?….And who are you to judge them?
I am not a fan of any of those women above…but heck I feel bad about your dissing. You always expect them to be like perfect role models or something forgetting they are just like us but with different professions. And What the heck do you mean by baby prostitute?…Lots of teenagers out there dress in skimpy clothes and I don’t see you judging them. Grow up….and leave them the hell alone. They can live like whatever they want. Just because they are dressing bad, had gone through lip injections, nose jobs doesn’t mean they are prostitutes or whores or sluts or any colorful word honey. Don’t tell me you are a complete saint. No one would believe that. How do you feel when some stranger judge you by your sex life or dressing style and post your pics online commenting on you face body, ass, nose, chin?
ib says
V, try and get off the virtue signaling bandwagon, its not healthy for you. Dressing like a lot lizard does not imply that the author said they were one.
Varshitaa says
ib, I know that.and about virtue signaling bandwagon, you can’t blame me, i am a teenager after all. A teenager who gets’s judged. What I said up there is a fact, cause I am seeing it with my own eyes not just assuming.
PS. you calling me V is really cute ;p
duane says
The author is actually a feminist. I think somebody totally missed the point. You’ll understand when you get older Varshitaa.