Incredibly old is the new young. Hecklerspray once met Muhammed Ali and he pretended to spar with us at a book signing. Although this may make you think “wow – you sparred with the greatest living sportsman on Earth,” the reality was a man with Parkinson’s making us feel slightly uncomfortable in a Guildford shopping centre.
However Ali in this state still would have kicked the living shit out of Stallone at 60. Rocky Balboa? Is anyone in this country actually going to watch this film? Let alone a film about Harrison Ford and Sean Connery (combined age: 46,923) hobbling around a dusty old temple complaining about their dodgy hips. That's Indiana Jones 4, if you hadn't already guessed.
Indiana Jones 4 may test our suspension of disbelief when it comes to geriatric hi-jinks. With Steven Spielberg and George Lucas it will in good hands, but with Harrison Ford they may be rather wrinkly, arthritic hands. Indiana Jones 4 is rumoured to be more character-based, inspired by the success of action-hero-reinvented-as-character films Casino Royale and Batman Begins. Hopefully they can overcome this obvious hurdle, but we keep having flashbacks to Roger Moore’s ‘paedo spy on the loose’ epic, A View to a Kill. The latest news is that Sean Connery is considering stepping in as Jones Sr. The genuinely hard-as-nails Scotsman said
“at the moment, there's nothing decided. I haven't got the script. Everything depends on the script.”
Sean Connery has not appeared in a film since the execrable League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. It’s not surprising that the most impersonated man in the world had retired from making films – League of Extraordinary Gentlemen almost made us retire from watching films. We think they should take their inspiration from Elvis vs The Mummy cult classic Bubba Ho-Tep and set Indiana Jones 4 in a nursing home.
Read more:
Connery Talks About Indiana Jones 4 – Monsters And Critics
[story by Simon Sharp]
Tucana says
Character-based? Oh shit. Who wants to watch Indiana Jones: The Alan Bennett Years?
James says
Don’t diss Rocky. Ever. Even Rocky V has it’s place (making the others look even better).
Geriatrica says
So what you’re saying is that Sean Connery has learned his lesson and won’t be appearing in films with bad scripts. Like League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, which was based on a kick-ass graphic novel but came up with a bad script.
Sounds like Connery, perhaps unlike Ford, Stallone, and possibly Spielberg, has gained wisdom to go with his advanced age. Good on him.
bob says
Rocky Balboa? Is anyone in this country actually going to watch this film?
Ummm- its already been out and actually TOPPED to Box Office for a bit.
Might try to do some research before jamming that foot in your mouth.