If Kate Gosselin plays her cards right she could soon be the flagship of two TV shows.
Jon & Kate Plus 8 being the first, of course. That’s obvious. Her second show isn’t as conventional. That’s because Hugh Hefner has recently offered to pay to digitally add Gosselin to every single Diane-episode of Cheers that was ever filmed. Using Forrest Gump technology she’d be seen sitting between Norm & Cliff gnawing on pretzels & slobbery mail bags.
We would watch that. What we wouldn’t watch is anything where-in her clothes were off. That, in actuality, is where Hefner enters the story.
Well it’s good news and bad news for Kate Gosselin. The good news is that even though her husband hates her now and wishes she was never born, Hugh Hefner still finds her endlessly fascinating. Of course, given his age this could just be because she wears so many bright colours and styles her hair like a pregnant chicken, but still, she’s got what it takes to catch a man’s attention.
Hugh Hefner does find himself wondering what her magical milk-makers look like under all those shirts though, and he’d wager most men in America are desperate to know too.
He’s wrong, of course, but he’s allegedly offered her $400,000 to find out anyway. This according to the New York Daily News:
The octomom is said to have received a $400,000 offer from Hef to take it all off for Playboy, but she doesn’t plan to reveal her lady bits in the nudie mag. “Hugh sent her a letter, but Kate was totally mortified and threw it away! She didn’t think it was appropriate because of the children.”
Sorry Hugh, but it seems Kate is keeping her privies private. Jon, on the other hand, offered to sell this picture of what Kate usually looks like for under $10,000:
That’s a right steal, if you ask us – and authentically realistic! Still not good enough? Well that’s because you’re a hungry-eyed pervert. One thing you’ll have to look forward to though, pervert, is a glimpse of the extracted stomach skin Kate had removed in her tummy tuck surgery. Gosselin’s far to modest to pose for the cold, cold camera, but she’ll sure let you see her former front-flab. It’s been flying at a leathery half-mast in her yard ever since that last Kennedy died – just a’ flappin’ in the wind. Bravely flappin’. Flappin’ for America.
We hear it’s getting it’s own show on Spike TV.
We honestly heard that.
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shooty* says
Isn’t “octomom” a Hecklerspray word? Can you sue them for using it?
eulajoe says
You are one MAJOR a**hole!
&
(I think you and Perez Hilton would make a lovely couple)