“There can only be one.” God, we should be so lucky.
Clearly, Hollywood producers were not paying attention when these words were famously uttered in Highlander – a 1986 film starring Christopher Lambert and Sean Connery, just in case you weren’t sure. How else can you explain the three shitty sequels, the two turgid TV series, the endless crap novels and the pointless cartoons that have followed it?
And, more importantly, how else do you explain why they are already planning another film?
Seriously, another Highlander film! According to Hollywood insider Script Girl, plans are afoot to resurrect the latest chapter in the immortal Connor MacLeod‘s legacy.
Another one? Why? No wonder nobody wants to live forever. Hecklerspray would rather cut off our own heads with a pair of rusty scissors than be made to sit through another life-sapping sequel.
The announcement follows the news Sony’s Columbia Pictures is in early talks to acquire the film rights for another 80s hit, Flash Gordon.
According to the Hollywood Reporter last week, Breck Eisner will helm the big budget adaptation. Who? You know, the guy who did that film Sahara and a couple of episodes of Taken and The Invisible Man – but don’t hold that against him.
Obviously, the producers have as much faith in the project as we do. However, Hecklerspray has just one request: Please put Brian Blessed in it again.
Of course, both Highlander‘s and Flash Gordon‘s soundtracks were penned by Queen, proving the only immortal here is Freddie Mercury. Although, we are pretty sure he is turning in his grave right now.
Of course, it all goes to prove that Hollywood really has ran out of ideas. It seems no 80s film is safe. What’s next? Frankenhooker? The Toxic Avenger?
You may laugh, but there is probably some Hollywood producer writing these down somewhere.
Just remember, Hecklerspray wants a share.
Read more:
King Jimbo says
Word of warning – The Toxic Avenger and Frankenhoocker aren’t as good as their names suggest.