Run! Hide! Duck for cover! Geri Halliwell’s womb is on the prowl and it demands that one of you penis owning plebs puts some swimmers up there to enable her to have a baby, which she’ll cradle and whisper sinisterly to it ’til it runs away from home aged 15.
See, Ginger Spice has split up from boyfriend Henry Beckwith because of his partying lifestyle. Beckwith wants to party like it’s 1999 and Geri wants to sit down like it’s 1957.
And because they were both stuck in different years, the ‘singer’ decided to end their two year relationship. She wants babies. He wants Babycham. It wasn’t ever going to work was it?
Beckwith has an aristocratic name, which is handy because he is indeed a stinking blueblood. For a man who loves to par-tay (he probably says that and not in an ironic way), he was noticeably absent from Geri?s 39th (who is she kidding?) birthday shindig over the weekend, and it appears that it’s all over.
How will we cope? A source, joining in the misery, says:
“Geri came to the realisation that things weren’t going to work with Henry. The age gap meant he had a wandering eye when it came to other women and he was interested in partying. She doesn’t trust him.”
So Beckwith wants sex, fast and loose and Geri wants a brother or sister for four year old daughter Bluebell Madonna, who has the most unfortunate name indeed.
Geri has said in the past:
?I do love being a mum, although I have to say I feel like I am more in my element now that Bluebell is a bit older. I’m enjoying this stage more than the baby part of it because I can interact with Bluebell. It’s great having a daughter.”
See? Babies are rubbish. Todders are king.
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Cookie Monster says
She is going about it entirely wrong. Either she should get a good mannish look and find Eddie Murphy lurking about, or go cocaine-chic and find a retarded athlete.
It’s been a decade, maybe fifteen years, since these gals sang (blerg) and danced (without poles) their way into the stiff heart of pulp culture. Please, let’s let them have a quiet and quite cultural death… please! Now.
Mangosta says
A few names for the next unfortunate sprog to pop out of her withered foofoo:
Tralala Daffodil
Vileda Twingo
Humpty Bumble
Chlamydia-Marie
Chumbawamba Haliborange