All women love George Clooney. All of them. There’s just something about that smug, grey-haired old bugger that make the ladies swoon.
And, ladies, here’s some good news – George Clooney is single again. If reports are to be believed, George Clooney has split up with his girlfriend Sarah Larson after a year together.
That’s right, the world has a brand new unattainably handsome and charming millionaire for you to beat yourself up over because deep down you know he wouldn’t give you a second glance in a crowded room even if you spent 15 hours making yourself look pretty. Girls, George Clooney is as good as yours! Maybe you won’t always be single and lonely after all!
Relationships break up for all kinds of reasons. There are fiery one-off arguments, creeping mutual resentment, adultery, mysterious anonymous voicemail messages urging you to ‘dump the bitch before you’re sorry’ – the list goes on and on.
That last one, by the way, might be a reason why George Clooney has apparently split up with his girlfriend Sarah Larson. It might not be, of course – that mysterious anonymous voicemail message George Clooney received last month urging him to ‘dump the bitch before you’re sorry’ might have just been a coincidence. Who knows?
All we know is that George Clooney and his long-term girlfriend Sarah Larson are no longer together. Unless they are, but they’re probably not. People reports:
George Clooney and his girlfriend Sarah Larson have split up after a year of dating, a source tells PEOPLE. The actor’s rep, Stan Rosenfield, would only say: “We do not comment on George’s personal life.”
This news is bound to come as a profound disappointment to George Clooney, because he’d invested so much more in Sarah Larson than with any of his previous girlfriends. For instance, when George Clooney took the big step of busting up his rib falling off a motorbike, he wanted Larson to be there to smash up her foot with him.
Not just that, but Sarah Larson was the first girlfriend who George Clooney ever took to the Oscars. We can’t imagine why he never took his previous girlfriend Lisa Snowdon to the Oscars, other than the fact that – judging by her role on Britain’s Next Top Model – she looks, acts and dresses like a total embarrassment.
However, that’s all by the by now, because George Clooney and Sarah Larson have split up and there’s nothing that anyone can do about it.
But perhaps you think you have what it takes to be George Clooney’s new girlfriend. If so, you certainly have a hard act to follow – not only was Sarah Larson young and pretty enough to have a bunch of grubby, kind of lesbian photos taken of her in her youth, but she was also a Fear Factor champion.
That last one’s key for any prospective George Clooney girlfriends, by the way – because only being forced to drink a pink of liquidised maggots and congealed cow blood can prepare you for sex with with George Clooney. He’s like 90 years old or something.