Jennifer Aniston used to get paid $1,000,000 for every episode of Friends she flipped her hair and whored about in.
Adam Sandler has appeared in some of the highest-grossing film comedies ever and won acting plaudits for more serious roles in movies like Punch-Drunk Love and Funny People.
Nicole Kidman has a Best Actress Oscar.
AND NOW THEY?RE ALL APPEARING IN A FILM WITH HEIDI MONTAG!
Heidi Montag, whose name translates in German as ?I Don't Like Mondays? has signed up for Just Go With It, an intense and deeply disturbing insight into torture methods used on both sides during the first Gulf War. Oh, no. Sorry. That's not it, it's a romantic comedy about a man and woman and love and blah blah blah?
Whatever.
Jennifer Aniston is apparently pleased about the latest sign-up. When she was asked about the Montag joining the cast, she said: “I just heard that. That’s interesting and fun?, adding that Montag is ‘perfect’ for the role, but declined to give any details about what she will be doing. Crying uncontrollably? Singing tuneless pop songs badly? Marrying a Pratt?
If her cringe-worthy antics in The Hills are anything to go by, where she fails to convince even when playing herself, we're in for a real treat with this.
If her awful cameo in How I Met Your Mother is anything to by, where she failed to convince even when playing herself, we really are in for a real treat here.
If her quality Superficial album, which has sold just 15,000 copies despite costing nearly $2,000,000 to make, is anything to by, well ? you see what we're saying. She's awful.
Although we've long suspected that Heidi Montag is not the surgically-enhanced, airheaded pillock that everyone takes her for. Why do we think this? Well, because we're idiots. But nevertheless, it is hecklerspray?s firmly-held belief that Montag is a satirical comedy creation, designed to highlight the insignificance of talent, fame or charm. A character that will one day soon be revealed to us, to show us all how far off course we have gone, the personification of the futility of earnest achievement and hard work in today's society.
Or is that just bollocks?
Just Go With It arrives in cinemas to a collective shrug next year.
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Eugene says
Re: Heidi Montag as a satirical comedy creation — I doubt you’re right. But I still wish you were.