Once upon a time, bands and artists were nominated for musical awards based on the merit of the audio they committed to LPs. Now, it seems that you can predict the nominees for ceremonies months in advance. Lady Gaga could release an album where she tapes herself constructing a shelf. It could sell bugger-all, but if a good marketing campaign backs it up, then some idiot will buy it.
Hooray for the humble PR team, the people who are paid to promote artists and generate advertising for them at inappropriate times ? such as Take That on every single TV show and advert when opportunity becomes available.
Given that, let us offer our worthless opinion for this year?s nominations that had a great marketing team, appeared at festivals or featured in trashy magazines.
It isn't all bad news though, we can happily report that Muse didn't receive any nominations and nobody on the Brit committee decided to award Michael Jackson another post-death statue.
However, just like fans of the two artists mentioned, the ceremony will be devoid of laughs and personality as James Corden attempts to host. Perhaps he?ll just resort to running around with belly out for a couple of cheap thrills. Oh how the O2 arena will erupt into a lol frenzy.
Looking at the lists in all the categories, one thing stands out to us (once we cast aside any musical prejudice).
Every single person is instantly recongnisable and seemingly nominated because they've sold a bucket load of records. Of course, this seems obvious as ?pop? is short for ?popular?, but amazingly, there are all sorts of hidden gems that never get played, mainly because the music industry is close to imploding. Anyone daring to play something or even experimental may find it backfires and ends up short on sales.
Therefore, household names like Cheryl ?coz am worth it pet? Cole, Eminem and the Glee Cast are being handed nominations on a plate. Cole?s album is nothing more than a ropey cash-in based on the seeming love for the electro sound and songs all about her marriage. As for Eminem? He did that song with the lovely Rihanna, focusing on happy themes such as domestic violence, even though he did something similar with Dido on the track Stan. And Glee? Well, that is nothing more than sugar coated karaoke featuring children who look innocent and sweet, but they?d probably form a crime syndicate if they weren't actors.
Even though ?celebrity? is muscling in on the modern day award ceremony with rock n roll behavior being classed as staying up till 2AM and squirting someone with ketchup, a small lifeline to music is still being offered.
Best Producer may throw up names that aren't instantly recogniseable, but without these people, half the records on the shelves wouldn't be there. Whilst bands might be able to pluck a guitar sweetly, they mightn?t have the technical ability and skills to record the sounds, subsequently arranging and manipulating audio in to songs. Whilst a band may have four official members, the unknown fifth is always the producer.
The Brits always offers supposed change and diversity, but these categories are still the same old boring ones we're used to seeing. Why not dedicate something towards new artists by having an award for ?best debut album?. Best breakthrough is a basic term for ?artist who became really popular and sold loads of records?. Elsewhere, ?best independent label? wouldn't go a miss, so recognition could be shown to labels actively hunting and promoting underground music.
Or thinking out of the box completely, looking at sub-genres in established genres, such as the currently popular dubstep in electronic music.
Come the time the awards are dished out, we probably won't feel any more excitement than we currently do. Saying that, as long as lovely Rihanna wins, that?ll make us happy. The full nominations below:
BRITISH MALE SOLO ARTIST
Mark Ronson
Paul Weller
Plan B
Robert Plant
Tinie Tempah
BRITISH FEMALE SOLO ARTIST
Cheryl Cole
Ellie Goulding
Laura Marling
Paloma Faith
Rumer
BRITISH BREAKTHROUGH ACT
Ellie Goulding
Mumford & Sons
Rumer
Tinie Tempah
The xx
BRITISH GROUP
Biffy Clyro
Gorillaz
Mumford & Sons
Take That
The xx
BRITISH SINGLE
Alexandra Burke ft Pitbull – All Night Long
Cheryl Cole – Parachute
Florence & The Machine – You’ve Got The Love
Matt Cardle – When We Collide
Olly Murs – Please Don’t Let Me Go
Plan B – She Said
Scouting for Girls – This Ain’t A Love Song
Taio Cruz – Dynamite
Tinie Tempah – Pass Out
The Wanted – All Time Low
MASTERCARD BRITISH ALBUM OF THE YEAR
Mumford & Sons – Sigh No More
Plan B – The Defamation of Strickland Banks
Take That – Progress
Tinie Tempah – Disc-Overy
The xx – XX
INTERNATIONAL MALE SOLO ARTIST
Bruce Springsteen
Cee Lo Green
David Guetta
Eminem
Kanye West
INTERNATIONAL FEMALE SOLO ARTIST
Alicia Keys
Katy Perry
Kylie Minogue
Rihanna
Robyn
INTERNATIONAL BREAKTHROUGH ACT
Bruno Mars
Glee Cast
Justin Bieber
The National
The Temper Trap
INTERNATIONAL GROUP
Arcade Fire
Black Eyed Peas
Kings of Leon
The Script
Vampire Weekend
INTERNATIONAL ALBUM
Arcade Fire – The Suburbs
Cee Lo Green – The Lady Killer
Eminem – Recovery
Katy Perry – Teenage Dream
Kings of Leon – Come Around Sundown
CRITICS’ CHOICE
Jessie J
James Blake
The Vaccines
BRITISH PRODUCER
Ethan Johns
John Leckie
Markus Dravs
Mike Pela
Stuart Price
howaboutno says
God, you’re suuuch a whore for (the lovely!) Rihanna. My goodness! I’d love her better if she was anything live…