Between the budget, the oil spill and the football, this week has the potential to be the most depressing ever.
But wait. You haven’t heard the half of it. Daniel Radcliffe has given an interview to MTV where he genuinely used the phrase “I couldn’t make pop music like now, like what the kids of today like.” What the kids of today like. Daniel Radcliffe said that. Little Daniel Radcliffe. Little ten-year-old, apple-cheeked Daniel Radcliffe the magic wizard, talking about the generation gap between him and some children. We are all so very, very ancient.
Happily, though, Daniel Radcliffe does seem to be labouring under the impression that Justin Bieber is a girl. So it’s not all bad news, is it?
People see different things when they first see Justin Bieber. Some see a pop hero. Some see the cynical, injection-moulded construct of a desperate music industry. Some see an unholy mix between Peter Beale from EastEnders, a middle-aged lesbian and that little stabby goblin thing from Don’t Look Now. But not Daniel Radcliffe. Oh no, Daniel Radcliffe sees a pretty young maiden who he’d very much like to squire.
In the middle of an interview with MTV where he desperately tried to distance himself from Harry Potter by pretending not to know anything about things that people his age enjoy – like music and pop culture and presumably things like trainers and graffiti and ice cream and Tomy Water Games – Daniel Radcliffe let out this gem of a quote:
“I only heard Justin Beiber like for the first time like two weeks ago. I genuinely thought it was a woman singing. I’d never heard it before.”
OK, so Daniel Radcliffe only thought that Justin Bieber was a girl because of his voice. So that probably means he hasn’t actually seen him yet. That means we’re not too late. Perhaps we can still convince Daniel that Justin really is a girl – a girl with the hots for him.
Sure, they’re both from different sides of the tracks – Daniel Radcliffe likes books and poetry and Broadway musicals while Justin Bieber likes haircare and text messaging and pulling a different moronic hand sign every couple of minutes – but we really think that Daniel and Justin have got what it takes to go all the way. All the way. All the way.
Oh, wait, we’ve creeped ourselves out again. Sorry, everyone.
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Thanh Tran says
FUCK U DANIEL RADCLIFFE! JUSTIN IS NOT NOT NOT NOT A GIRL!!!!! I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT U EVEN SAY THAT!!!!! WAT THE FUCK KIND OF PERSON R U?????? ASSSHOLE!!! BITCH!!!! SHIT!!!!
Dee-da says
Well a perfectly rational reaction to the quote there Thanh
Talynne Potter says
Thanh .. shut up :)
evryone thinks of justin bieber as a girl when they listen to him for the first time !
his voice isnt quite “man” enough :)
so don’t you DARE talk about daniel radcliffe like that ! :@
true statement says
justina bieber is a girl, isnt it obvious? it is more obvious then hannah montana being a girl.
melanie says
Shut the f-ck up justin is not a girl i’m gonna kill you. this is how i would describe you daniel bitch stupid ugly and dumb. F-CK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JUSTIN ALREADY HAS A DIFFERENT VOICE AND IT GETS BETTER AND BETTER EACH DAY
Gilbert Wham says
“whom he
Valhalla says
They are both talentless gimps
layla says
fuk u fukkin looser anyone can sit at computor and write words that are clever and sarchastic 1- Justin Bieber does NOT never has and neva wil look like a girl. B- you who wrote thsi nasty stoopid article is probably a fuckin fag whos going to hell and 3- everyonre knows that stewart heritige sits in a semen stained dressing gown in a cottaging hotbed of a room surrounded by photos of Justin Bieber’s face crudely photoshopped onto images of mens naked bodys, wankking himself off furiously with 1 fat stubby hand n feverishly belting away at his keyboard with his other fat stubby hand, writing caustic broken articles about Justin Bieber as he pounds both chubby swollen scabby hands in various directions working himself up into a carnival of angry sex hate over his empty life and secret love of Justin Bieber climaxing in a sweaty, wild-eyed screaming n frenzied sex-rage just as my mom walks in and catches me the stupid fuckin cubnt. Oh yeah fuvck off and die anyway.
K says
hahaha wow bieber maniacs are such MANIACS. how old are you? hahaha if you’re older than 18 you won’t be listening to justin bieber’s crap of a music. what’s wrong with the music industry nowadays? there’s no good music anymore. i mean, i listen to pop, but old music touches your soul. with the lyrics, the meaning, the tune, every beat of the drum, every wail of the guitar, it makes you feel alive. real people who have real passion for music won’t be listening or worshiping musicians based on how cute they are. i’m 20 and i ‘m not that old but i listen to 60’s, 70’s, 80’s and 90’s music. i appreciate different genres of music. but justin bieber? pssh. he’s our 90’s aaron carter. haha yea, i was also a die-hard aaron fan when i was young. so quit expressing vulgarly kids, we know he’s sooo cute. but it’s unnecessary to talk like that especially when someone is just trying to give his/her own opinion. you’ll understand when you get older. :)
Kattie. says
Hahaha! Justin Bieber fans are quite psychotic, are they not?
Sorry little ones, but it looks as if Daniel Radcliffe’s too busy having taste in music to give a damn about this weeks pretty boy of choice.
nnn says
wow im so proud. 100000 points for gryffindor.
u, biebslovers, ure just so… stupid.