Come on, admit it – you’re looking forward to seeing the Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix film. Aren’t you? No, us neither, but that’s not going to stop us telling you about it.
Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix – the fifth Harry Potter film – will start filming in Hertfordshire next week. Normally at this point, we’d give you some clue about the plot of the film but – seeing as how it’s already a book – you should just go and read that instead, you lazy buggers. Then tell us what happens, we can’t be bothered to read it.
Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix is the fifth edition of JK Rowling‘s attempt to buy the entire world
Harry Potter (stuff) wizardy funbus book-and-movie chronicles. As a book, Harry
Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix sold 1.78 million copies on its
first day in the UK alone. So we’ll assume that most of you know what
happens in it. But you don’t know who’ll be in the film, do you?
Because – even though filming starts on Monday – all the major roles
have been filled. Not like those Casino Royale monkeys.
The big name addition to to Harry Potter And The Order Of The
Phoenix cast is Imelda Staunton, last seen on our screens being all dour
about abortions in Mike Leigh‘s Vera Drake – a role which earned
Staunton an Oscar nomination. In Phoenix, Staunton will play
Dolores Umbridge, a Ministry-planted teacher who annoys Harry Potter by
making the real defence classes a bit rubbish and shouting at him a
bit. She’s a baddie.
The other well-publicised addition to the Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix cast is Evanna Lynch, who won the recent Harry Potter casting call
open audition to play Luna Lovegood. We’re not sure what Luna Lovegood
actually does, but it’s probably all wizardy and ace. And there’ll probably
be some semi-forgotten Britpop singer making a tiny appearance in order to fool
idiots like us to fork over £7.50 to see them dressed as wizards, just like in the last
two Harry Potter films.
To prepare for his role in Order Of The Phoenix, Harry Potter actor Daniel Radcliffe went to visit a bereavement counsellor to understand survivor’s guilt, which Harry Potter apparently feels in the new film. He says:
"Sirius is clinging on to James [Harry’s father and Sirius’ best
friend] through me, and I’m trying to know my father through him. The same thing happens with me and Cho. I was the last
person there when her last boyfriend, Cedric, was killed."
Still,
survivor’s guilt isn’t something Harry Potter needs to worry about for
too long, seeing as how he’s going to bite it himself at the end of the next book.
Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix will be released in 2007.
Read more:
Harry Potter’s ‘Phoenix’ Begins Rising Next Week – MTV
[story by Stuart Heritage]
Mom says
Really stupid
Jeanne O'Malley says
This review follows the ancient and moth-eaten form of griping about Christmas,bored with summer holidays and sneering at any book, movie or television show that most people liked.Rather desperately trying to call attention to itself…your basic trendy, self-regarding fluff.
Rachael Houghton says
Personally, I can’t wait to see the next Harry Potter! What really cheese me off though is that I’ve read all of the books before watching the films and the directors have left out massive chunks of vital information in the fourth film.
It’s still a great film, but the facts aren’t totally to the book. Dobby and Winky played an integral part in this story and should’ve been included! I also would’ve laughed myself silly if they had included the part where Dudley eats Fred’s “tongue ton toffee”!
Ilana says
I bet Jeanne dresses up as a Hogwarts student when she masturbates.
Tyler Atchison says
I bet Jeanne does to the Harry Potter collection is awesome
Jordan says
i can’t wait to see it but what really suks is that i bet it’s going to be packed at all movie theatres!!! me and my sister r going to see it. i don’t care that it’s going 2 be packed….. i am just happy to go to see it on the first night!!!
i can’t wait!!!!! well, i guess i will, or might see yall at the movies!!!! (atleast some of yall!)