Archaeologists have made a stunning discovery.
After weeks of carefully sifting through piles of rubbish, they came across a fossil that they saw as another useless dinosaur, but wait! It’s not just a useless dinosaur; it’s a useless dinosaur with an earring! It must be Harrison Ford. The discovery was confirmed by the presence of a frail skeleton next to the fossil that was classified as ‘the old dinosaur’s girlfriend, Calista Flockhart‘.
All of this excitement has prompted the American Archaeological Society to put Harrison Ford on the board of directors. So, we may be a bit fuzzy on the details, but the board of directors thing is for reals.
Seriously, though, apparently the real reason the American Archaeological Society is putting Harrison Ford on the board of directors is because of all the made up fantasy archaeological work Harry Ford has done as the character Indiana Jones.
And by archaeological we mean getting jiggy with buxom blonde undercover Nazi scientists, and by work we mean George Lucas giving him a script to memorise and an adventuresome-looking hat to wear. Oh, and there’s the whip too. One mustn’t forget the whip.
Anyway, the society is grateful to Harrison Ford for raising interest in the field of archeology. Ok! magazine reports:
“President Brian Rose praised Ford’s contribution on Thursday, saying his Indiana Jones character has played a major part in boosting interest in archaeological exploration”.
That’s right. Because of Harry/Indiana, history nerds have emerged by the dozens from library basements across the land with dreams of wild adventures and swooning ladies, only to find themselves developing hunchbacks from crouching over endless piles of dust in the sweltering desert heat, dusting off rocks with little brushes.
It’s an odd thing when someone receives an honour such as a board of directors position just for pretending to be someone who vaguely represents what they do, isn’t it.
Next up is Vin Diesel, who will be honored by the National Au Pair and Childcare Society for his portrayal of a nanny in The Pacifier, which has increased interest in high ranking military personnel who take on the role of babysitter by an astounding degree.
Read more:
David Bryden says
Just in case Ms. Flockheart is reading this; Eat your dinner! Finish those potatoes! I want to see that plate clean when you’re done!
E says
Dinosaurs are paleontology. Archaeology is human cultural materials. Get your ologies straight.
Miss Anonymous says
To the author:
Why so bitter about Hollywood bringing some cash flow and interest to archaeology? Get off the academic high horse and realize that most researchers and professors would consider that job an honorable time suck! Archaeology isn’t glamorous – you and I know that – so if Hollywood, Harrison, or Indiana can bring it some much needed resources be thankful, put your head back in the dirt, and keep diggin’.