Gwyneth Paltrow will stop fannying about with her silly GOOP website for five minutes to hang with the kids. Not her own kids, you silly bugger – the 25-year-olds playing school children on Glee.
To be clear, that’s not Glee spelt with an ‘L’. It’s spelt with some one’s hands cunningly fashioned into an ‘L’ shape, as that’s what those wacky kids are doing these days.
Gwyneth seems like a nice enough lady. By that we mean, if she were our geography teacher or something we’d like her just as much (we don’t just make that comparison because she reminds this writer of nice Mrs. Smith who always smelt like a heady mix of cat urine and fish).
The actress, 37-years-old and married to Chris Martin, seen in movies such as Iron Man/ Iron Man 2, is best known for being just the wrong side of pretentious with half the things she says and does. The right side of pretentious would be having the nerve to call a website GOOP. The wrong side would be using said website to preach lifestyle advice, in newsletter form, to one’s admirer(s).
What the heck were we talking about – all this talk of things that rhyme with ‘poop’, and that teacher that smells of pee – to this day – threw us off track.
Oh yeah. The rigid, unfunny, world’s-best-geography-teacher-that-never-was is going to star on a television programme. One that’s made of funnies and aims itself at young people.
These things thrown into a blender together are so incongruous that it’s giving us a splitting headache.
While we drink these throbbing pains away, have a butchers at these details on her appearence.
Gwyneth Paltrow will guest-star in two November episodes of Glee, sources tell E! News. According to the report, Paltrow, 37, will sing and dance as a substitute teacher/glee club coach who fills in for an ailing Mr. Schuester (Matthew Morrison). The glee club kids quickly take a shine to Paltrow’s sub — as does Mr. Schuester himself, who develops a hard crush despite his romance with fellow teacher Emma (Jayma Mays). Paltrow worked with Glee creator Ryan Murphy in his 2006 feature film directorial debut Running With Scissors.
This was a guest post by Amy Grindhouse, so hooray for that.
Cookie Monster says
Meh/
That is all.
/Meh