Y’know rich, successful, universally adored and fancied Gwen Stefani? She’s not happy with her life. See, despite the fact that, now she’s single, she could do as she damn well pleases with whoever she goddamn wants to, she’s not liking the fact she’s a woman.
Poor Gwen. With those lovely woman boobs and lack of disgusting man-penis.
When Stefani comes back in the next life – which won’t happen because reincarnation absolutely doesn’t exist – she would like to come back as a human man.
She said:
“Until now I had two serious relationships. And one of the men I married!”
But has she missed out, what with having all that marriage?
“Absolutely not. A while ago a friend told me she dates two men simultaneously. That really blew me away! But in my next life I’m gonna come back as a man and behave like a bitch!”
She wants to come back as a man, but behave like a woman with two boyfriends?
Fine, whatever. If rumours are true that she’s splitting up with Gavin Rossdale (and you would totally dump him – have you heard Bush’s records? Exactly), then why doesn’t she stop this whole ‘waiting for reincarnation’ thing and just slag it up like the rest of us?
Well. Those of us lucky enough to attract other humans in a sexual way.
Either way, Gwen hasn’t learned her lesson at all and has a firm idea of what she finds appealing in a man. She is only attracted to people who are creative. Apparently, creative men are…
“super sexy”
Or, if you prefer ‘untrustworthy, impractical tramps’. Whatever floats your boat Gwen.
WAIT A MINUTE! SHE’S CALLED GWEN! WHAT IS SHE?! SOME KIND OF ’50s WELSH MINER’S WIFE? Sheesh. Can’t believe we only just noticed that.
D.L. says
She sounds like a chipmunk who’s taken helium. And that God awful “Sweet Escape” song was on the radio FOREVER.