The most exciting event in Big Brother history has just happened.
Unfortunately, the incident happened in America and not in the UK where so far the most exciting thing to do for viewers is count how many times Luke mentions the £100k cheque.
We’re always told that things don’t go truly mental until the series kicks off, gets into its stride and sees housemates go quite mental. Sadly the UK version is halfway through and still as exciting as pouring vinegar over your own open wounds.
Consequently we’re switching to America for some entertainment. Quite literally we’re thanking God for turning the equally boring show into something worth watching. Fear not, we’ve got a video of it as well, after the jump.
Was that exciting or what?
Honestly, we’re going to constantly play that video whenever the UK version gets dangerously boring. Actually we may have to that right now. Rex is taking about his restaurants, Lisa‘s blabbing on that she possesses gypsy powers, Darnell is inappropriately swearing and Kat is singing. Absolutely no change at all there then.
But if you were wishing for some Big Brother housemates to perish in a pit of rubble you’d be disappointed. The earthquake that measured 5.4 on the richter scale only lasted around fifteen seconds – not enough to make a Hollywood disaster movie on the events, but surely enough to make someone traumatised for life.
It wasn’t just reality show morons that were affected by God’s mighty decision to shift the earth, with stony-faced Judge Judy also feeling the true power of the space magician himself.
How Hollywood copes with all these earthquakes we don’t know, but it does make us wish that the UK had some sort of natural disasters to spice things up. Boring football matches would be made a lot more interesting if comets were hurtling towards the pitch.
Or what about making the banker from Deal Or No Deal a bit harder? It would make the contestants less thrilled, to say the least, if they knew there was the chance of picking a box with no money, instead offering a chance at death via a one-on-one gladiatorial conflict. It would certainly ramp up the pressure, that’s for certain.
God, if you are reading hecklerspray as you normally do, can you send a plague of flesh eating termites to the UK Big Brother house? Now that’ll make decent television.
(Yes, we’re quite aware that’s two stories covering one earthquake, but come on! Footage of these reactions is priceless!)
gir says
Rather tellingly, no picture of god is included for this story. Looks like SOMEBODY has embraced the truth of atheism…
Harry says
Well it’s just that in the middle of an earthquake we don’t want to talk much about atheism. As the pointer mounts up higher and higher on the Richter scale we automatically get more religious, until finally when it hits about 9 or so, we become true believers. When it hits 10, who else is there anywhere to ask for help? That photo of God is very hard to snap because it is lost in the secret of electricity, in the secret of magnetism, in the secret of the propogation of electromagnetic waves, and in the secret of consciousness.
Iris says
“Oh my god, the ground’s moving!”
And here I thought “earthquake” meant that the sky moved. Funny, that.
David Bryden says
Harry, what’s the “the secret of the propogation of electromagnetic waves”? We KNOW how they propagate. Engineering students wear the equations on their T-shirts.