In 1997 hecklerspray came up with a brilliant concept for a series of videos that, dare we reiterate, was no less than brilliant. In it, sword-wielding girls in swimwear would wrestle dangerous sea creatures in carefully constructed underwater pockets of air. At the time we thought we'd found employment for years to come.
We tried filming three times but the stupid giant octopus kept ripping arms out of sockets and the girls would scream and cry and we'd be all "Hey! With every tear your fee drops $25, Rhonda, Jo Anne, Renae or what-have-you," and they were all "But I'm just a psych major… sob, and I miss my arm," but then we were like "So help us if your spurting blood coagulates on our blue pleather boat seats…!" Plus our frozen go-gurts all got melted.The whole shoot just wasn't convenient for anybody.
Joe Francis on the other hand, now that guy found a sleaze-niche that'll have him rolling in green for years to come. Say what you will, but every two weeks when his jail guard brings him a freshly arrived Girls Gone Wild paycheck and he's reminded he won't have to touch anybody's junk for cigarettes, his conscience will be just fine. Even if he did just get found in contempt of court for things like swearing at a bunch of girls who were minors when he filmed their naked wazoos.
Wazoo is French for boob. It's in a dialect.
Even Paris Hilton can't save Joe Francis this time. A few years back Francis filmed a bunch of minors when they whipped out their goods at a Girls Gone Wild shoot. The girls, apparently, didn't have parental permission slips to point their bare juggies at GED toting cameramen or their boom operators.
Hence, the girls got wise and sued. U.S. District Judge Richard Smoak didn't really want to be bothered hammering out a deal, free videos or not. He ordered Francis and his lady friends to strike a deal of their own accord. They couldn't do it, and at one point Francis is said to have lost his temper with the girls, possibly because they were wearing opaque shirts.
Judge Smoak, who incidentally has yet to show Francis any titty, had said if an agreement wasn't met Francis would be held in contempt of court. With jail time looming Francis lost it again, this time berating the Judge in the media:
“This judge has gone as far as to call me the devil and an evildoer. It is a case of a judge gone wild.”
Now that Francis is facing 35 days in the slammer, his quivering rectum and he have changed their tune:
"I am sorry for my behavior. It was wrong. I had heard about appeals and things and I was confused. I am sorry, I really am."
But it's all too late. Francis' case is worse than a breezy 35 days in the big-house. He's also being brought up on tax evasion charges. It seems for the next while the only girls he'll see going wild will be little skinny ones named Pedro. Don't fret Joe, we heard he's quite pretty when he puts on his cherry kool-aid lip stick and toilet-soaked hair curlers.
You soak hair curlers, right?
Read More:
'Girls Gone Wild' Founder Gets Jail Time – Houston Chronicle