Following the gargantuan success of Transformers, it would seem that the studios are literally falling over themselves to create films based on best-selling toys that will spawn whole new generations of best-selling toys – a bit like the life cycle of Giger's Alien, but with parts that may prove a choking hazard to children aged three and under.

Latest toy-update on the agenda? Well, hecklerspray had its money on Boglins: an all-action reimagining starring Renee Zellweger and a CGI Les Dawson. Alas, we were wrong.

It turns out that G.I. Joe is the next big name coming your way.

Not the G.I. Joe some of you will remember from your childhood, though. Apparently Paramount Pictures and Hasbro – the big boy companies behind the project – have decided that the image of the American military isn't a particularly popular one right now, and have opted to bring Joe and his chums kicking and screaming into the 21st century.

So Joe will now become part of a 'multi-national' peacekeeping force. Even his name is all set to mean something different: Global Integrated Joint Operating Entity, which quite frankly sounds like a bit-part in Videodrome to us. Obviously this drastic image-haul is going to annoy all sorts of American Conservatives, who were no doubt looking forward to a scene in which their lunkheaded hero nukes Iran, orders a double cheeseburger while waving his constitutionally-protected shotgun in the air and then frenziedly bum-pokes Jessica Simpson over the front of his brand new Humvee.

Hecklerspray isn't bothered either way. We would, however, like to see elements of the G.I. Joe toy that we fondly remember being included in the film. So a sequence in which Skeletor tortures Joe by sellotaping him to a radiator only to have his evil plan foiled by The Real Ghostbusters riding in the A-Team van would do just dandy, thanks.

Failing that? We'll go with the Jessica Simpson thing.

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G. I. Joe Gets A Makeover For Movie - IMDB