Geri’s Song Banned. National Revolt Expected

Those people who decide what’s cool enough to be listening to in tomorrow’s traffic jam will not be allowing us to hear Geri Halliwell’s (CDs) new single.

Those damned sanctimonious fools. Still, life goes on.

After several attempts of jump-starting her career like a knackered Nissan Micra, Geri Halliwell refuses to take the hint. Cats go away to die, don’t they? Can she learn nothing from these wonderful, dignified creatures?

"We’ve only got a finite amount of room on our playlists and we choose songs we think our audience are interested in.” commented a spokesman for Radio 1. “Geri’s isn’t one we’ll be adding."

Radio 1 heartily endorsed Akon’s Lonely (CDs) on their meagre playlist a few weeks back and now that’s top of the chart causing more pain than a Tabasco enema. They don’t get it right all the time, but we can’t argue with their judgement on this one.

Have we actually heard Geri’s new single Desire? Thankfully, yes. Much like trying those new Irish Cream Aero’s, we’ve satisfied our curiosity and won’t be making the same mistake again.

London’s Capital FM is no more interested in Geri than Radio 1. Watching that documentary on Five last week couldn’t have helped much. She lets her dog crap on their paths and everything.

We reckon local radio will lap up Desire though. With a lot of love and repeated plays after traffic and travel maybe they could take her to number one?

No? Then try Teen Today’s excited campaign. Don’t laugh, when was the last time you saw anyone older than the cast of Spy Kids (DVDs) buying a single?

[story by Chris Laverty]