Gary Barlow has always shared a certain stuffiness of his namesake, Ken Barlow. He was always something of a curmudgeon in the world of the boy band, and as he gets older, he’s showing no signs of changing.
Grumping into view, Barlow has criticised modern pop videos, saying that they’re just too rude.
You wouldn’t get Take That rolling around half naked with women smearing food all over their bared chests, thrusting their glittering thongs into camera in the Do What You Like video, would you? Never.
Of course, there’s nothing sexual about the Do What You Like video. It’s an instant boner-kill. Far too wacky to be arousing. And of course, there’s nothing steamy about Gary Barlow, unless you’re under the impression that, beneath that vague authority he carries around with him, lies a mean, dominating, S&M fantasist who will treat you like Maggie Gyllenhaal’s red arse in The Secretary.
No doubt, with that image, we’ve lost 90% of our female readers.
Those of you left with us, the X Factor judge and Take That tunesmith is showing his furrowed brow when thinking about his children being subjected to explicit content.
Speaking to OK, he said:
“The other day, I wanted some music in the kitchen and put on one of the music TV channels and a video came on which was so rude that I had to turn it off because my nine-year-old was with me.”
“I have had five nine-year-olds in my back seat singing along to Black Eyed Peas songs with F this, F that and I’m like, ‘Right, I’m stopping the car!'”
Speaking of how he thinks these videos have affected the X Factor auditions, he said:
“It all filters down. We had girls and you wouldn’t believe the kind of moves they were doing. I sat there and thought, ‘Jesus Christ’.”
By which he means, he couldn’t stand up from behind his desk for a good hour thanks to that funny, tingling feeling in his chap.
You’re still thinking about Gary Barlow in a bondage situation aren’t you?
Cookie Monster says
Somebody should let Ricky Schroder know that this Gary character has totally stolen his look.
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