Once upon a time, people would drink in pubs where there weren't fruit machines, cigarette dispensers and jukeboxes. In-between slurping pints of ale, people brought round battered guitars and embraced the now disappearing art of simply playing a tune whilst everyone else had a sing song, even if they were rubbish.
Now this format has been taken on to mass scale where people openly and happily flaunt their singing abilities in front of a panel of supposed experts and a pack of baying audience members.
The majority are appalling and no amount of insults will pop the egotistical shield they hide behind. At times, sparks of genius such as horse faced Leona Lewis and human gargoyle Susan Boyle proved otherwise. However, one starlet appeared this year called Gamu ? a young woman with a remarkable voice. Sadly she is now less known for her talent and instead used as a guide for UK immigration laws. Rock ‘n’ roll.
Once Gamu hit the scene, The X Factor suddenly stopped being a singing competition and instead became a parody of itself. Accusations of racism got flung around alongside the immigration issue. However, nobody ever stopped to ever ask themselves, ?was Cheryl Cole right in thinking that Gamu wasn?t prepared for the big time, or was she totally rubbish and a generic dull singer?? Because people worryingly take supposed ?light entertainment? shows seriously, hilarious death threats to judge Cheryl Coleb were sent, causing the police to get involved.
What the public failed to grasp was the daftness of Gamu in the first place. Even our hearts melted a little bit when she broke in to ‘Walking on Sunshine’, but something didn't quite click inside her head. Sadly, people who appear on reality TV subsequently get their entire life dissected via the media. Amazingly, living with her mother on an expired visa was probably going to get picked up at some point.
Even though casual xenophobia exists too much for our liking, we half expected comments of ?bloody foreigners, coming here and stealing our spots in singing competitions? to be ushered in. Oh no, in true British irony, Facebook groups were set up to save her. Granted, the authorities wanted to send her back to Zimbabwe, a country not exactly known for giving out cuddles and popcorn at the border.
We've heard nothing much from Gamu since The X Factor got in to the swing of things, apart from pleasing news her family won a first round court battle. Like Susan Boyle, Gamu dreamed a dream of being a singer and subsequently flogging something like tinfoil when record sales declined. Normally, half decent recent rejects get a record deal from Simon Cowell, but oddly 50 Cent has something lined up for Gamu.
?Fiddy had to wait until Gamu was released from her X Factor contract before signing her, as the show prevented the Zimbabwean singer from penning any new deals, or promoting her own work during the programme. The rapper has recruited Gamu – or Miss Gamuchirai as she will now be known – after being interested in her “for some time.?
Before you all jump around like idiots, accusing Gamu of changing her recording artist name after bagging a big deal, she is going by her surname ? something which will prove hilarious when people try to announce it on live radio.
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doug says
People who make bullyish remarks like you about leona and others should be banned from writing, its people like you who try as they may to ruin peoples careers and you think well of yourself for making them