Doctor Who has always been a quirkfest, with machines that don’t work properly, stupidly long scarves, baddies that look like bits of tinfoil and something preposterously called ‘a sonic screwdriver’.
Really, The Doctor is, of all the heroes, the most nauseatingly twee. He’ll be playing a bloody ukulele next. A sonic ukulele no doubt.
Anyway, thank frig the Americans have shown up to save this sorry franchise with some razzle and dazzle. That’s right! America will be getting their hands on Doctor Who and making the explosions bigger, the Doctor more handsome, throwing in a sex scene or two and making him have a proper spaceship as opposed to a stupid telephone box. WHO EVEN USES TELEPHONE BOXES ANYMORE? HAVEN’T THE WRITERS HEARD OF MOBILE PHONES?
Apparently, the Time Lord will be Tinselised by Harry Potter director David Yates who is planning to build a movie franchise around the Dr. Who series.
Harry Potter? That was stupid tweedery as well! But fear not!
Yates says:
“We’re looking at writers now. We’re going to spend two to three years to get it right. It needs quite a radical transformation to take it into the bigger arena.”
A radical transformation! No we’re talking!
Let us hope that K-9 ends up looking like Mechagodzilla, the Tardis ends up looking like an X Wing Fighter, only with bigger guns and that all of the Time Lord’s stupid magic wands are replaced by an arsenal that would make this guy blush…
Basically, the above clip is what the Doctor Who movie should really be aiming for. Fine, fine, fine, the Doctor can still be a super-intelligent humanoid alien who travels through time being sarcastic to everyone, but lets get someone who looks like they could punch a giant hole in a truck!
Matt Smith is not that man. This is the role where Arnold Schwarzenegger can make his Hollywood comeback! It’s perfect! MAKE THIS HAPPEN HOLLYWOOD!
And we don’t have to worry about existing storylines and the like because Yates has promised that he’ll be ‘starting from scratch’.
We might even get some decent baddies too! DALEKS THAT DON’T NEED A DISABILITY RAMP TO GET UPSTAIRS! Oh man, Hollywood. You’re brilliant.
Like World War II, they have come to save our bacon once again!
(Keep Karen Gillan in though, eh?)
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Steve says
Oh, God…I have watched and loved Dr. Who for years. Please, PLEASE don’t let the American Sinema ruin this fantastic show…
And I am an American, yes.
T-Cake says
Oh, I see what you did there with American “Sin”ema. Very clever. That’ll get the point across. I bet they’ll just stop production now.
And I am an American. But we don’t claim Steve.
JoeMomma says
That clip is what Micheal Bay wishes he could do.
Bugface11 says
I’m from the UK & yah They are trying to make a US doctor who/torchwood. . . . They’ve already made a US [elementary], & you can’t replace a UK show at all :| . . & as i’ve been watching it from 2005, it’s loosing it’s UK touch to it. . . which i don’t like.