Basshunter, the lovable dance DJ behind such songs as ‘Now You're Gone’ and? erm?? that other one he did, which seem designed to make your brain bleed with hate, has appeared in court in Kircaldy to deny two allegations of sexual assault.
That's right, the man who followed Ronnie Wood?s former missus, Ekaterina Ivanova, around like a little lost puppy with a somewhat creepy look in his eye is alleged to have sexually assaulted a couple of girls in a nightclub in Fife.
Maybe she was right to keep him at arms length, mind you if you'd been allegedly battered by your ex you'd probably try to keep strange men at more than an arms length, just to be on the safe side.
You can't help but feel sorry for Basshunter though, real name Jonas Erik Altberg, mainly because he was playing a gig in Fife. We here at hecklerspray aren't big fans of Swedish dance music, but we did think that after his appearance on Celebrity Big Brother Basshunter would announce a residency at the O2 to rival fellow alleged sexual predator Michael Jackson.
But no, apparently not even reality TV could save the Basshunter or the profile of loud and annoying Swedish dance tunes in the UK, forcing him to go to places like Fife to find an audience.
This may not sound that bad, but have you ever been to Fife? No? Well, don't, that's hecklerspray?s top tip for the week, don't go to Fife, it's frequented by gropey DJs for one.
Basshunter will have to return to Fife at some point in the near future, where he is to take part in an identity parade. We can only imagine how bizarre that line up is going to be. Is it number 1? Number 2? Number 3, the one from Big Brother with the funny voice? Number 3, can you please sing the lyrics to the 2007 number 1 hit Now You're Gone for us please?
Unconfirmed reports have stated that the UK government had been after Basshunter for some time as the artwork for his hit single Now You're Gone was made up of thousands of top secret emails from Gordon Brown, asking Tony if he was ready to stand down yet.
we're all eagerly awaiting Jemima Khan?s campaign to free him from this persecution.
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marianne dunn says
I am/was a fan of the music then after cbb10 a fan of the man so huge disappointment at the way jonas erik altberg is going the celebrity route and thinking he can do what he wants. Not good but your very funny article made me smile. Keep up the good work!