Yeah, we know it's already June, and that with each passing day, the notion of it being a preview becomes more absurd. Shut up and read, because these are the festivals that you should be thinking about going to this month.
Arguably if you actually use us as some kind of tastemaker, then perhaps it's best to stay in and not inflict yourself on the wider public.
With that in mind, here?s what everyone should be doing while you stay in, looking at old photographs and wondering where it all went wrong.
Festival for those about to rock ? Download 10-12 June, Derbyshire
You?d be hard pushed to find a less pretentious crowd, metallers know how to have fun in an wonderfully inclusive way. And metal bands shit all over indie bands when it comes to playing live. Headliners this year are Def Leppard (if you're not afraid of cheese), System of a Down (who are just great) and Linkin Park (if your tastes are more mainstream). Other acts include Avenged Sevenfold, Pendulum, Korn and the divisive cynicism-free zone that is Frank Turner. Oh and Clutch. Who are quite a long way down the bill but worth mentioning because they're bloody marvellous.
Festival for those who prefer beats to riffs ? Glade Festival 10-12 June, Norfolk
Not content with running the best dance bits at Glastonbury, the Glade crew have been running their own event since 2004. This is definitely our June tip if dancing all night is high on your agenda. Sub Focus, Andrew Weatherall, Krafty Kuts and Hybrid who amongst those going whumpwhumpwhump in the night.
If you don't mind travelling ? Rock Ness ? 10-12 June, Loch Ness
OK, we know it's the same weekend again, but if you want a line-up that's a bit more..er.. festivally, then you could do a lot worse than this bad boy. Highlights include Frightened Rabbit, Fake Blood, Two Door Cinema Club, DJ Shadow, Simian Mobile Disco, and Chemical Brothers, who are still one of the best live acts about, and creators of a recent ?return to form? album. As in their best in ten years. As opposed to ?return to form? when it means sound-a-bit-like-they-used-to-but not-as-good, for example ?have you heard Invaders Must Die by The Prodigy, it's a real ?return to form??).
Camping? No thanks! ? Parklife Weekender ? 11-12 June, Manchester
Platt Fields is a great location, and this weekend includes Chase and Status, Metronomy, Darwin Deez, 2manyDJs, Everything Everything and Grandmaster Flash. The weekend is sold out but there are still day tickets available.
If you want more than just music ? Goldcoast Oceanfest 17-19 June, Devon
Tunes-wise this reasonably priced one has The King Blues, Seasick Steve, and Ed Sheeran. There's also lots of sport. Don't worry it the kind of sport that cool people in baggy clothing play, and is more fun to watch.
If you've never been to Glastonbury, then you really should go ? Glastonbury 22-26 June
We could write a great deal about why Glastonbury became a great deal better when the big fence went up, but how it's been losing it's vibe over the last few years. However if you've never been before you\’ll probably have the best weekend of your lives and think us insufferable bores. Luckily everyone who agrees with us seems to have started their own events.
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Simon R. Gladdish says
This year we seem to have been given a choice between Wimbledon and The Wombles. It’s a no-brainer. I must remember to order my pass!