Now there's honestly nothing we like more than to sit down with our tea and watching 30 minutes of mentally ill women handcuffing screaming pregnant girls to beds and disturbingly attempting to hack their guts open to remove a baby.
Seems we're probably the only ones, though; an episode of EastEnders this week featured exactly that – Dr May drugged pregnant Dawn and tried to perform a ramshackle caesarean on her until Dawn stabbed her and left her screaming "I want my baby!" in a way so harrowing that it seemed to be almost scientifically constructed to make children unable to sleep ever again. And, surprisingly enough, the EastEnders pre-watershed scenes of horrific mental and physical torture gained a few complaints. Well, OK, more than a few – about 200 so far. Despite this, the episode still wasn't thought to be as disturbing as the EastEnders scene where Frank Butcher walks around naked in a spinny bow-tie.
Remember a couple of weeks ago when EastEnders bosses were worried that a proposed storyline about a baby kidnapping would be too similar to the Madeleine McCann saga and ditched it in case anyone got upset? Remember how thoughtful, if slightly unnecessary, that seemed? What non-upsetting story would EastEnders replace the plot with, we wondered – a happy storyline about a kitten getting stuck in a flowerpot? A dramatic thread about overdue DVD rentals? No. Instead EastEnders thought the best way not to upset viewers was to basically have some of the cast recreate the most horrific scenes from the Hostel and Saw movies, right there in the early evening.
For those of you who missed the mentallest, most needlessly upsetting episode of pre-watershed baby torture in the history of EastEnders, here's an edited set of highlights…
Now, as much as we're all for more TV shows that end with a bleeding doctor pounding on a car window and screaming "I WANT MY BABY!" in a genuinely upsetting way that all at once makes us truly petrified of women, cars, handcuffs, babies and doctors, it seems like a bunch of EastEnders viewers aren't, and have lodged all sorts of complaints with the BBC. Digital Spy reports:
The number of complaints to the BBC about Monday night's EastEnders episode has risen to 183 – more than double the original figure. The corporation initially received 80 complaints but the numbers increased gradually throughout yesterday, with roughly two dozen viewers contacting Ofcom directly. A BBC spokeswoman today told DS: "[Monday's] episode involving the characters Dawn, May and Rob reached a climax that most viewers would have been anticipating. We are sorry if some people were offended by this drama unfolding and will be addressing complaints fully in due course."
Typical EastEnders – not only does it create real-life bullies but now, after the Dawn and May baby-torture episode we can expect it to create a raft of stereotypically over the top medical professionals who sing nursery rhymes to themselves as they prepare to slash open pregnant womens' bellies in grubby mansion bedrooms. And it'll be you to blame, EastEnders. You!
But hopefully these complaints will have provoked EastEnders into trying to be a little more sensitive to viewers' needs. Well, just as soon as that little deaf kid kills his future stepmother who's been psychologically tormenting him for months on the day of her own wedding, anyway. But that's a given.
Read more:
BBC Receive 183 Complaints Over 'Enders Episode – Digital Spy